Who's Causing More Damage, the Home or the State?

by Melissa J | More from this Blogger

30 Dec 2006 02:07 AM

It's tragic enough when a circumstances of abuse or neglect require a child be removed from their home. Children, even when placed in the best homes and receive the most appropriate care still may struggle with past trauma. What is even more devastating is sometimes it's the state who contributes unnecessary hardships for the child. I should mention that I have yet to meet a state employee who has had any intention other than helping a child.

One problem I see is with the balance of reasonable time for parents to reclaim custody of their child versus the need for a child to have stability during a critical time in their development. This can take many months and in some cases even well over a year. There are sequences and policies that need to be followed for a child to either be returned home or be adopted. In the mean time, the child grows up and waits... Certainly there is no single person to blame in a typical case. I do believe ultimately the intent is for the child to have a safe and stable home during their time in care until hopefully they can be returned to a safe and stable home.

Ideally, a child would be placed in the best of foster homes until the plan was made to return the child home to be adopted. It is very sad that too often this isn't the case. Children are often bounced around from home to home for various reasons. Some of these reasons might include: a foster family not able or willing to meet the needs of the child, there is a safety concern with a particular child in the home, or the foster parent(s) do not want to be fostering anymore.

Children who are moved frequently may not have the opportunity to bond with their new caregiver. To a child who has faced moves prior, the feeling of settling in to a home might mean being uprooted to the next home. Children in such situations may lack trust in adults or become overly trusting. These children may deal with rejection or develop attachment disorders. It's not necessarily the fault of the state if a foster parent wishes to have a child moved. Unfortunately, with children being so impressionable, further impact developmentally often happens as a result being in state custody.

Please visit these related blogs:

• The Kids Through State Adoptions

• A Tragic Adoption Experience

• Child Neglect: A National Growing Problem

• A Child's Life in the Ghetto

• The Child Protection System is in Trouble

Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog

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rsbg (501) 30 Dec 2006 09:53 PM

mj, soooo sad and soooo true!