While Waiting to Adopt

by Melissa J | More from this Blogger

08 Aug 2006 10:25 PM

The hardest part of the adoption process I hear about from others is the waiting! I call it the "Hurry up and wait" game. Anyone who's played it, I'm sure will agree, it's not a fun game. There are some things that you can do during the waiting that will not only help pass time, but actually help you stand out as a waiting family.

• Take advantage of special opportunities with your current family. When my husband and I were waiting, we would take day trips to the ocean and the mountain. We took long aimless drives at night (gas prices were lower then). Those moments were precious just the two of us.

• Read books about adoption. There are websites out there that specialize in adoption books. Tapestrybooks.com is just one. If you are adopting through your state's social services or internationally, make sure you check out books on attachment and older children. I strongly recommend a book called Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best if you are considering a child older than new born but not a school aged child.

• Take classes. Check through your local library or county for some classes on adoption related issues. If you have never parented, check out some parenting classes. I love the "Parenting with Love and Logic" series. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy classes.

• Find an adoption support group. What better way to learn about adoption and adoption related issues than to meet those who have been there, done that? Getting into a support group is not only good to hear from others, but it's a great way to get hooked up with resources.

• Make a "Welcome to the Family" book. Gather some photos and put together a book about your family to give to your new child. Perhaps make narration directed to your child rather than just writing blurbs next to pictures. Since we were adopting a younger child, we had our dog introduce our family.

I strongly advise waiting before going out and buying clothes and bedding accessories unless you know for sure the age, gender, and sizes of your child. If you are adopting an older child, it might be a good idea to include them in the selection process of some items.

Waiting can be so hard. I hope with some of the suggestions I've listed above, it will help to prepare you for the arrival of your new family member.

Please check out this related blog: Standing Out at a Committee or Staffing

Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog

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brystro (299) 10 Aug 2006 12:57 PM

Great advice!

Melissa J (13710) 10 Aug 2006 03:02 PM

Thanks. Waiting was very difficult for us and I'm glad I had these things suggested to me to point me in the right direction.

Eliana (5) 10 Aug 2006 06:51 PM

Mj, those are some awesome suggestions. I believe a lot of birth parents would do well to heed the same advice. I don't think you can be prepared enough for raising precious, complex human beings.

Melissa J (13710) 12 Aug 2006 01:31 AM

Thanks Eliana, Complex human beings is the truth!

Grammi58 (396) 13 Aug 2006 09:46 AM

MJ-Great advice!!! I wish that I read alot of parenting books when I was preganant. I ended up with a total of 3 BEAUTIFUL children. I feel that they all turned out great. So, maybe I did parent them right. They all 3 have totally different personalities.