Search Results for: blog traits of foster children

Books for Kids About Foster Care

There are many good children’s books about adoption, but still a dearth of books about foster care. It is a painful subject to write about, but it is also hard when a foster child thinks he or she is the only one going through it, and also when other children don’t understand. The following books can be used by foster parents, social workers and therapists to help children understand some of the reasons they might be in foster care, the roles of the adults including biological family, foster parents, social worker, therapist and judge; and who makes the decisions about … Continue reading →

Children Can Learn to Be Kind

Although I think there is a lot to be said for temperament and personality, there are still plenty of character traits that can be learned. I believe that kindness is one of those traits that a person is not necessarily born with, but can be taught and socialized. If we want our children to be kind and caring individuals, there are things we can do to help foster that… It might help to think about how kindness is NOT an innate expression in other living creatures. In fact, in the animal world, it is all about survival and kindness is … Continue reading →

If We Want Our Children to Have Character Traits, We Need to Have Them First

I write often here about how important it is for us as parents to model behaviors for our kids—things like honesty and patience and empathy are all important personal traits that we can exhibit ourselves in order to help our children learn what is expected. But, I think there are all sorts of morals, ethics, and character strengths that we must first foster in ourselves if we have hopes that our children will grow up with these cherished traits. How can we teach something that we haven’t really learned ourselves? If children can learn negative and abusive behaviors in the … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, More Part 3

Posted on by

I didn’t finish my third blog in the traits of adoptive parents series. I had illustrated how recovery and restoration from the hurtful and damaging things in the child’s past might sometimes take a very long time to be fixed. This blog will focus on the fact that many of those things sometimes heal rather quickly. My statement that it doesn’t always happen should not be taken to mean that it can never happen. Tommy came to us at age two and a half. He had experienced two open heart surgeries to repair a badly malformed heart valve. Once we … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 3

Posted on by

This is the third blog in a series that discusses the traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child must have. The parent must be mindful that recovery and restoration from the child’s past may not be immediate and that some damage may never be fixed. We all like to think that lots of love and the best that modern medicine can provide will make things right. The problem is that it just doesn’t always happen. We have adopted five maternal brothers. The oldest four came to our home about four years ago. One of the children is … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 2

Posted on by

This is the second in a series of blogs that discuss the traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child must have. The person needs to be adept at adjusting to sudden developments, anxieties and hardships. All of these things will come, the only question is when. When one of our children came to live with us, he almost immediately started having fits and rages. It was unlike anything that I had seen before. The slightest upset, and frequently nothing that we saw, would trigger them. He had these episodes for up to an hour at a time, … Continue reading →

Traits of Foster Children

Posted on by

The foster / adopt training that we took informed and warned us about some of the behaviors and traits that we would see when we took foster children into our home. I am not a special needs expert, although I know a lot more now than I did then. Rather than try to analyze what we saw, I want to report it so that others who try fostering will not be surprised. In previous articles, I have discussed fits, rages, and insecurity. Children who have been hungry sometimes do peculiar things. Even though they were being fed regularly, the boys … Continue reading →

Were You Made to Parent?

Some people are born to parent. Others, not so much. Breeding is one thing, but parenting properly is quite another, and often, according to a new study published in the current issue of Scientific American Mind, one does not beget the other. World renowned child psychologist Robert Epstein is the man behind the new research, which studies the gold standards of parenting. Epstein surveyed 2,000 parents and asked them questions regarding their parenting styles and their children’s behavior. Epstein and his team then used the information to look for correlations between parenting traits and behavior, and a child’s happiness. According … Continue reading →

What is Medi-Cal?

Posted on by

Medi-Cal has been in existence since 1966. It is part of the Medicaid program of the State of California, and it’s funding comes from both the State and Federal Government. This is a kind of government run health insurance program that is designed for low income individuals, disabled individuals, and people with specific kinds of diseases. To qualify for Medi-Cal, you must already be enrolled in one of the following programs: SSI/SSP: SSI is Social Security, SSP is State Supplementary Payment. Both are run through the Social Security Administration CalWorks (AFDC): This is a government program designed to give temporary … Continue reading →

Raising Polar Opposites

My mother used to walk into the dining room to seem me near tears over my math book and my brother lounging in a chair. In one breath she would tell him to open a book and me to take a break. We thought she was nuts. What she knew is that she had one child who would continue to study even when she had hit a wall, and another, who didn’t even need to study, though it wouldn’t hurt if he did. She was parenting polar opposites and so she treated us differently. Sometimes we felt she was showing … Continue reading →