Search Results for: blog things adoptive parents can do to claim their child

My Last Blog

Posted on by

This is going to be my last blog as the Adoption Blogger for Families.com. I’m looking forward to spending the summer with my kids, possibly working at their school, and taking on new writing projects. I may well guest blog occasionally for this or other Families blogs. It seems the Adoption Blog will continue, so I hope this blog, along with Families’ forums, can be a source of information and community for adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth parents. Yesterday I could think of a million things to say in my last few blogs and wondered how I would fit it … Continue reading →

Book Review: Orientals: Asian Americans in Popular Culture

My last blog wondered about the impact of anti-immigrant feelings, worsened by economic conditions, on international adoptees and their families. In that blog, I quoted from the book Orientals: Asian Americans in Popular Culture. This blog will be a further review of that book. The first thing I should note is, as I said last time, that the word “Orientals” is deliberately used by the author to demonstrate negative stereotypes of Asians as too irreconcilably different by nature to ever fit into American society. Do not use the word “oriental” when referring to people today. Use Asian-American if you need … Continue reading →

Older Child Adoption – Blessing or Nightmare?

When talking to people who have adopted older children, it seems that you almost always hear stories from two opposite ends of the spectrum. There are the families who say that their adoption of an older child is nothing but a nightmare, that it ruined their family and that their child will never function normally in a family setting. Then you talk to the those on the other side who say that their adoption of an older child has been a breeze. Everything went smoothly, they’ve had no problems, the child is a joy. Is it possible that both experiences … Continue reading →

The Many Languages of Mother

Posted on by

In my last blog, I mentioned conversations that have been flying around the blogosphere this spring. I suppose it’s not surprising that in May our thoughts turn to mothers. A heated conversation has arisen among the international adoption community over referring to yourself as “mother” in the language of the child’s birth country. Adoption catalogs carry catalogs with jewelry, shirts, tote bags, etc. which have the word Mother, and sometimes Father or Grandmother or Grandfather, in the languages of the various countries which send the most adoptees to the U.S. Since my daughters are Korean, I’ll use the Korean word … Continue reading →

Adoption and Inheritance Rights

Can an adopted child inherit from his/her birthparents as well as adoptive parents? Can a birthparent claim some of the estate of an adopted child who dies? In some states, the answer is yes! There are two major things to keep in mind when reading this blog: 1. This blog refers to state “intestate” inheritance laws, meaning laws regarding the estate of someone who dies without having made a will. If you make a will, you can direct that your money and other assets go to your adoptive child, your birth child, your adoptive parent, your birthparent, your neighbor’s third … Continue reading →

Disadvantages of Kinship Adoption

My last blog wrote about kinship adoption and its advantages. Of course, there are disadvantages as well. The disadvantages include the muddling of relationships within the family. A birthmother may resent her parents or sibling for being able to raise the child when she cannot. She may have trouble letting go of the parental role if she sees her birth child at the family home or at family gatherings. The adoptive parents may also feel resentful, since they likely did not set out to adopt a child. They may feel that the birthparent’s lifestyle forced them into the situation of … Continue reading →

Adoption Books with Beautiful Art: Over Land and Sea: a Story of International Adoption

Books showing children of color are becoming more common, but books showing multiracial families are still relatively rare. So books that show multiracial adoptive families with gorgeous artwork, while giving a sensitive and accurate portrayal of adoption, are a real find. Many families will find themselves reflected in Over Land and Sea: a Story of International Adoption. This book is one of my new “absolutely favorite things”. This book is one of my new “absolutely favorite things”, largely because of its stunning artwork. Author Steven Layne is a father of three children who were internationally adopted. The simple story—“hey, I … Continue reading →

When Adopted Kids Grow Up: Worst-Case Scenarios

My last blog spoke of research on adoptees’ adjustment. I mentioned David Kirschner’s book of worst-case case studies. It is a pain-filled and painful book of adoptees who became criminals. But adoptive parents need not panic. Kirschner makes no claim that most adoptees will be violent or that adoption is bad, or even that all adoptees will be maladjusted. He believes that looking for a pattern in the court cases he has worked on might illuminate things that don’t work to help adoptees. He believes that his experiences can not only help adoptees, parents and therapists to avoid horrible outcomes, … Continue reading →

“Wrongful Adoption” Lawsuits

Occasionally one hears of adoptive parents suing an agency for “wrongful adoption”. The parents usually claim that after they adopted the child, the child began to exhibit special needs and/or behaviors that were unexpected. For example, a child who sustained extensive sexual and physical abuse is considered at risk for attachment disorders. Children who were abused themselves also are at risk for becoming abusers of others. A child may have disabilities related to fetal alcohol exposure. The parents claim that the agency either knew about these problems, or factors putting the children at high risk for these problems, and withheld … Continue reading →

Certificate of Citizenship: Why Isn’t a Passport Good Enough?

Posted on by

My last blog talked about the importance of ensuring your adopted child’s US citizenship. This blog talks about the importance of being able to prove it. When our daughters’ adoptions were finalized, we immediately obtained passports for them. A passport, I had always been told, was the ultimate proof of citizenship—better than a birth certificate, better than a social security card, better than just about anything. Our older daughter’s adoption was finalized in 2001, just after the Child Citizenship Act took effect. We were told we could apply for a Certificate of Citizenship. None of us really knew what that … Continue reading →