The Wheels of Justice Turn Slowly

Posted on December 20, 2006 by

Our adopted children first came into our home as foster children. We were assured that there was a high probability that the birth mother’s rights would be terminated making it possible for us to adopt them. The longer that we knew them and cared for them, the harder it became to even consider that we might not get them. Once a child is taken from the birth mother’s custody, legal proceedings begin. The court has a legal mandate that the matter be resolved in one year. There is an exception to this rule which allows the proceeding to be extended … Continue reading →

The Trend to Open Adoption

Posted on February 13, 2007 by

Apparently, the current trend in adoption circles is toward open adoption. In an open adoption, the birth parent is allowed to occasionally have contact with the children. Most of the prominent adoption magazines strongly recommend it. It is also the in-vogue direction that social work academics seem to be leaning. My wife and I were recently driving home from a three day vacation and “just for fun”, Nancy called in to a very popular national radio show hosted by a well-known family issues psychologist. The radio host seemed oblivious to all of our good reasons to avoid our children’s birth … Continue reading →

Adoption Day #2

Posted on February 9, 2007 by

I have detailed in a number of blogs what turned out to be a fight for Isaiah. He came to our house on a “foster to adopt” basis because we already had adopted his four older maternal brothers. His birth mother had been encouraged by a movie (Losing Isaiah) to fight for his custody. She finally decided, during court ordered mediation, to sign a relinquishment of her parental rights. We agreed to send her, through an intermediary to protect our identity, pictures and a narrative of all five boys every six months. We had a “goodbye visit” with her and … Continue reading →

Bad Parents Have Legal Rights

Posted on February 1, 2007 by

When our adopted children first came to live with us, the parental rights of their birth mother had not been resolved. This happens in many, if not most, adoptions. I will warn you that the process can be very frustrating. We have adopted five maternal brothers which involved two separate adoption proceedings. In the first one, there never was much doubt that she was going to drag it out as long as possible and then sign relinquishment papers. However, she threatened to contest the right to retain her parental rights in the second adoption. The birth mother of our boys … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah, Round Four

Posted on January 8, 2007 by

As we moved closer to the day that a decision had to be made about Isaiah, Lola was talking more and more like she was assuming that she would retain her parental rights. Her drug rehab counselors were giving her pep talks and her lawyer was apparently encouraging her. She would talk about these things in front of me as if I was disinterested in what was happening. Some of her talk was clearly fantasy. For instance, she told me that she was going to be trained to be an ultrasound technician for a hospital. She had not finished high … Continue reading →

Legal System Fails Child in Horrible Abuse Case

Posted on December 31, 2006 by

The legal system has failed to protect a 15 month old girl, who had the misfortune to be born into an abusive home. State investigators were first in her home in late July in response to reports of injuries to her five year old brother. His most serious injury was a broken ankle. Authorities took no action because the child insisted that he had sustained the injury while skateboarding. On October 4, police were called to the hospital when his sister, A’Anya Cantley, was brought in by her mother’s boyfriend with second degree burns to her face and torso. The … Continue reading →

Final Visit

Posted on December 25, 2006 by

It had been almost a year since we had taken four boys into our home. We had visited with their birth mother once or twice a month. After all the visits, only one of the boys even knew who she was. She had never been their caretaker. Texas law mandates that these matters be concluded in twelve months. With the prospect of a nasty trial over parental rights looming, the birth mother had signed a relinquishment of her rights. It was now time for what the adoption community calls the good-bye visit. It was scheduled for two hours at the … Continue reading →