The Twenty Most Popular Questions An Adoptee Has

by Nicole Humphrey | More from this Blogger

15 Jul 2006 01:12 PM

Adoptee's are plagued with questions their entire life. Some will go unanswered, and some can and should be answered.

An adoptee is often haunted by these questions during different stages of life. For instance, many adoptee's wonder who they look like. This is often something they are forced to think about as early as elementary school when the class is doing a hereditary chart to see where their blue eyes came from, or their blond hair. Especially when everyone else in the family has dark brown hair and brown eyes. Yes, I have been there.

Here are the twenty most popular questions that adoptee's have. They are in no particular order, but they were the most often asked questions by tons of adoptee's growing up. Many of the questions would hurt other family members by knowing that the adoptee thought that way, but just remember, most adoptee's undergo identity crisis' at some point during their life and the question everything. So here they are:

1. Who do I look like?
2. Did my birth mother/father get to name me? What was it?
3. Did my birth mother/father get to hold me?
4. Why did my biological parents give me up?
5. Did my birth father know about me?
6. What does my medical history look like?
7. Do I have any biological siblings?
8. Is my birth mother/father looking for me?
9. What is my birth mother/father like?
10. How old was my birth mother/father when they had me?
11. How old was I when I was given up for adoption?
12. Will I ever see my birth family again?
13. Does my birth mother/father think about me?
14. Does my birth mother/father remember my birth date?
15. How come I'm not like anyone else in my adoptive family?
16. Why can't I ask about my adoption? Why do my parents get so mad?
17. Who are my "real" parents - adoptive or biological?
18. Why do I feel different than my friends just because I'm adopted?
19. Do my adoptive parents love me since I'm not really theirs?
20. Does my birth mother/father love me? Could they ever?

These questions are wondered by so many adoptees over their lifetime. It's a sad and true fact that each of us as adoptees undergo identity crisis' from lack of information. Simply knowing the answers to these twenty questions, would provide a better understanding of who we are, and what our adoption means.

Learn more about Nicole Humphrey

Nicole Humphrey is a freelance writer, consultant for CTMH and a Sr. Blogger for families.com. She resides in St. Charles, Missouri with Mike and their five children and two furbabies.

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Anna Glendenning (4234) 16 Oct 2006 12:24 PM

Nichole, Interesting article... I think most of your questions apply to adoptions like my ex-husband before Adoptive Parents became more educated on the overall implications to our children.

During the past 20 years most adoptive parents have learned to better raise our children so they don't suffer from this list of 20 questions.

My children have pictures of their birthmother and are permitted to Talk about her, ask questions and I have never gotten MAD! (It sort of hurts my feelings to have this written in this blog!) I don't know ANY adoptive parents today who get MAD when our children Ask questions!

Anyway, I think this is great info for OLDER adopted people and perhaps those raised by uneducated adoptive parents today. Over all the majority of your list of questions should not need to be asked by babies or children being adopted today....