The Reunion of Mother and Child: How It Began

by Nicole Humphrey | More from this Blogger

16 Aug 2006 07:33 AM

I shared my search story, and I know I left a lot out. It was a long process, and one I wish to never repeat. The emotions associated with a search are incredible, and not necessarily in a good way.

However, there did come a time, when the search was over, that I began to wonder about a possible face-to-face reunion. It was strange, but surreal. I was happy just having contact via letters and emails and the occasional phone call. But after time, I needed more. The phone calls began coming more and more frequently to where my birth mother and I were talking practically every week. Sometimes more if we were both less busy that week.

But eventually it felt like torture. Like my puzzle was complete, but wouldn't stay together. The pieces kept popping out. I know, that's a strange metaphor but it's how I felt. No matter how connected we were, I still felt disconnected.

I felt like a child. And I was thirty years old.

I had to figure out what it was I was missing exactly, but it didn't take long to realize that it was simply my mother I missed. Sure, I had her as actively in my life as she could be from 900 miles away. But I needed a hug.

Simply put, I needed her arms around me, even for just a moment. I was certain that if I had that, I'd have everything.

And so we began talking about her coming to visit. It was several weeks of talking about it before she called me one day and said "It's happening. Here is my flight information."

I couldn't breathe and the tears flowed freely for quite some time once the realization set in that I was going to see the woman who gave birth to me, face to face.

I could have never anticipated what the following weeks would be like and how excruciatingly anxious I would be.

More of the story to come....watch my blog!

Learn more about Nicole Humphrey

Nicole Humphrey is a freelance writer, consultant for CTMH and a Sr. Blogger for families.com. She resides in St. Charles, Missouri with Mike and their five children and two furbabies.

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mrc43 (233) 17 Aug 2006 07:01 AM

Wow - powerful!

Nicole Humphrey (15757) 28 Aug 2006 08:40 PM

Thank you!

embracelife (78) 17 Nov 2008 04:21 PM

I can relate to a lot of your feelings on the reunion. I'm in the beginning stages of reunion with my birth daughter (closed adoption) and it's hard because she is (rightly) in control of all of it. She doesn't even know what she wants from the reunion, and I fear she'll never want to meet me. I've waited all of her life (with a sad heart) for a reunion...and I fear it may only be 'information gathering.' It's so HARD to be patient!

Pam Connell (2658) 17 Nov 2008 07:50 PM

Thanks so much for sharing, embracelife--it is wonderful to see how you can empathize with your birth daughter and recognize her need to be in control of the process. I bet it's hard to be patient! Maybe reading some stories of reunion might help? In addition to Nicole's series here on this blog, our sister site adoption.com has lots of stories, from all members of the adoption triad.

Can you write your daughter a letter sharing how you feel? --while reiterating that you won't push her. You could include family medical info and info about your talents, hobbies, etc. so that she will know you are thinking of her welfare and not pushing a reunion.