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The Redacted File

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In Texas, families who are adopting children do not find out vital information about the child until just before the adoption is finalized. That put us at a distinct disadvantage. In the adoption process, a redacted file is one in which certain information is blacked out in order to preserve some legal right. For instance, if the state had been called out to investigate a home that a child was in, anything revealing the identity of the person that submitted the report to the state is blacked out to protect them. There was a lot of important information withheld from … Continue reading →

CPS Was Planning Reunification !

A few weeks after the New Year started we got a call from the case worker for Rebecca. She said that the biological mother was going to fight for custody of her. I immediately began to start crying. This sweet little girl had only been in our family for a few weeks but she already had a huge piece of our hearts. I cannot believe that the CPS case worker was actually considering reunification. I asked her how that could be the biological mother abandoned George under a car the end of July in Houston when he was two months … Continue reading →

Against All Odds Again

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Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of Tommy’s “gotcha day”. Gotcha day is the term used in the adoption community to celebrate and remember the day that a child came to your home to stay. I have already written about the problems that we had with Tommy’s behavior and the fact that he had a “heart scar” down the middle of his chest with no explanation from the state. Tommy came to us one month after his brother Caleb had joined our family. Caleb had a very rough first month of his life. Now that we know almost all of their … Continue reading →

Social Workers: A Day in Their Shoes

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Those of you who have been following my blogs know that I am no fan of the child protection / foster care / adopt system in Texas. That is a common feeling with most of the people who have shared their stories from other states. I have said on occasion that almost any way of doing things would be an improvement over what we experienced in going through the foster / adopt process with our five boys. I have to admit that I have encountered many very competent hard working people with the state and I have not intended to … Continue reading →

Foster Parents Have a Lot of Worries

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Foster parents operate with a worry that something will go wrong. The state puts children in their home who have serious problems. Frequently, the foster parents do not know most of what the state knows. Yet, if something should go wrong, guess who will quickly get the blame? I have previously given examples in regard to receiving our now adopted boys as foster children. Tommy came to us with no medical records, two prescription medications, and a telltale scar down the middle of his chest. Foster parents are required to have a child checked by a doctor within a few … Continue reading →

My Passion Has Changed

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Since my wife and I adopted five boys, the things that I have a passion for have changed significantly. My passions before were for the things that most people are passionate about. I have discovered that doing the task that I have chosen consumes my sentiments, emotions, and excitement. For the last fifty years, I have been very passionate about sports. I would plan all of my activities around the “big game”. My allegiance to the sports teams of my alma mater has consumed much of my time and emotions. This year, I did not know which teams were in … Continue reading →

Give Them a Chance

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A few days ago, I reviewed the redacted file that the state gave us when we adopted four of our boys. It has the photographs that were taken of the three oldest children when the state removed them from the place where they were living. Seeing the pictures enabled me to benchmark where they were then and where they are now. Our oldest was four and a half when this occurred. He was aware of their living conditions and I can see fear and anxiety on his face in the picture. He was very anxious when he came to live … Continue reading →

When Foster Families Adopt

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There are many advantages for everyone concerned when a foster family makes the decision to adopt a child that has been in their care. It is a win – win situation for everyone involved. The foster family is well suited to provide a permanent home for the child. They already have an awareness of the child’s background before he came to live with them. They also know the bad habits that the child has. If the child has to go to a new home, then all parties will probably have a difficult time for a while. Several of our Gotcha … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6

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I must admit that I never thought that I would be writing that this blog is the sixth in the series that discusses the desirable traits that a person should have that is thinking of adopting a special needs child. The person should have endurance, or staying power, and be willing to be persistent in getting the job done properly. I am going to focus on the challenges of taking our five boys on a trip to illustrate my points. Our oldest grown son and his family live in San Antonio which is about a four hour drive away from … Continue reading →