The One Thing That No One Wants to Talk About

by Fatherofeight | More from this Blogger

09 Jan 2007 09:24 PM

When Isaiah's birth mother signed relinquishment papers, Nancy and I agreed that we would provide pictures and a written narrative to her for all of the boys every six months through an intermediary, our adoption agency. We had sent the first pictures. The adoption was not yet finalized.

When she picked up the pictures, Lola sent us a note that jolted everyone. It said that she had tested positive for the HIV virus. There is always a significant risk when you are dealing with someone who has a lifestyle of very risky sexual habits and drug addiction.

Our legal system tends to give too many protections to people that do not deserve them. Throughout the process, no one could seek this information from Lola or require her to be tested. That would have been a violation of her privacy. In addition, a foster family is not allowed to have this testing done privately without the permission of the state. From a practical perspective, many doctors order the tests and do not tell the state.

For the older four boys, we had some kind of evidence for all of them that they were safe. We had received hospital reports for Isaiah that indicated a safe test when he was born. In addition, he did not show any sign of having the virus. Once we had the mother's note, then the issue had been raised by her and we were free to have him tested. Our adoption agency strongly suggested that we have it done immediately.

We were surprised by the alarm that this news produced in all of the professionals. They were all concerned that we would back out of adopting Isaiah if he tested positive. Even our adoption agency worker said that many adoptions get short circuited if this news surfaces.

No one fully understood that Isaiah had been our son, in our hearts and minds, for a very long time. We were not about to give up on him. That would have been out of the question for us to even consider.

We had him tested and the results were good. All five of our boys dodged this bullet. Once again, the Lord had protected them from harm.

We have told the state agency that we do not want to know if Lola has any more children. Our reasoning has nothing to do with HIV. We have reached our limit. We want the boys to have a family, we are complete.

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Linda Hansen (1796) 09 Jan 2007 09:08 PM

You sure caught my attention on this one, Ed. It really is the work of God that kept your children safe under those circumstances, thank you Lord. He is so merciful. Artcraft

Fatherofeight (2475) 09 Jan 2007 09:26 PM

No one else could have protected them, Art. It had to be God.

Eliza Ferree (725) 10 Jan 2007 06:53 AM

so glad to hear the boys are out of the danger zone, I know it had to be a relief hearing it.

Fatherofeight (2475) 10 Jan 2007 07:17 AM

Eliza, you are so right. My chest felt tight when I took him for the test and when I called his doctor's office for the report. He is a huge child and that told us that it was not probable, but it was very reassuring to know.

PATTI (580) 10 Jan 2007 12:06 PM

Dear Ed, thank God for another miracle. God did protect those precious boys. PATTI

Fatherofeight (2475) 10 Jan 2007 09:46 PM

And He will continue to protect them, thanks, Patti.