The Long Awaited TPR

by Melissa J | More from this Blogger

27 Sep 2006 12:53 AM

For foster parents hoping to adopt their foster child and parents hoping to adopt their child's birth sibling in the state system, the waiting for termination of parental rights (TPR) of the birth parents can be an emotional journey. What may look like an open and shut case doesn't always turn out to be that way. In most cases birth parents are given every opportunity to regain custody of their child.

Sometimes it can look like a birth parent is not following case plan. The state and the judge might agree that TPR in inevitable based on the evidence, but this does not always mean that TPR will happen-at least right away. In our state, the assistant attorney general (AAG) needs to review the case history to see if they have a case to build for TPR. To my knowledge, the AAG will not support TPR on a case they don't believe they can win; otherwise it would seem to be a waste of time and tax dollars. This is why often it may look like a case is going to TPR and then more services are offered to a birthparent.

I have met so many hopeful adoptive parents in this situation and have lived it myself. It was one of the most trying times in my life. For foster parents that have hoped to adopt their foster child, it can be agony to imagine losing them. For adoptive parents who have adopted the birth sibling of the child in care, the wondering if they will again be parents is also difficult. It can be frustrating to see what appears to be the system dragging their feet, delaying a case where it is obvious the parent is not in a position to raise the child.

It's so important for all the ducks to be in a row, "I's" need to be dotted, "T's" need to be crossed. One of the worst things that can happen is the case being dragged out longer than it should be with appeals because the system didn't give the birth parents every opportunity to get their act together. As hard as the waiting is, in the long run, if the child's case is closed correctly and justly, it should be better for them.

One case worker shared with me that even with long drawn out cases, more often, the birth parents will sign voluntary termination to avoid a dreaded trial. Sometimes a mediated agreement can give a birthparent the assurance that at least they'll get some future update on the child.

Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog

Learn more about Melissa J

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger

Michelle Vandepas (579) 28 Sep 2006 02:55 PM

My daughter's birth mom relinquished rather than go through the termination process. It was a week or two away anyway. We have an open adoption now and see her often. It indeed was heartwrenching. Suprisingly, she is parenting her next child, only two years later, with a lot of love and stability. We thought we might get to adopt this child, but bmom is doing great!

Melissa J (13710) 28 Sep 2006 11:55 PM

Michelle, overall that sounds like good news. A case worker told me that about 90% cases she's seen, the bparents sign voluntary TPR. Seem to me, most wait until the last minute which can be so hard for families waiting for things to finish. We did mediation and right now I'm happy we did.