The Fight for Isaiah is Over

Posted on January 9, 2007 by

The first mediation session ended without success because Lola decided that she needed to talk to her drug rehab counselor at the last minute and we could not find him. We were all guardedly optimistic about the second session. We started to worry when Lola arrived. She looked really bad. I had seen her like this many times before. She told us that she had not talked to the counselor and that we were going to have a trial because she was not going to sign anything. When she came back, she told me that she had lost the pictures … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah, Round Five

Posted on January 8, 2007 by

There were a lot of people in attendance at the mediation meeting. Our state social worker was there, with her boss, who brought her boss. The volunteer from Child Advocates was there, with her boss. The remaining participants were the mediator, Lola and her lawyer, the state’s lawyer, Nancy, and me. Apparently, a lot of people thought that there was a lot at stake. I certainly did. The mediator was doing all of the things that he could do to calm everyone and facilitate a free discussion. Lola was clearly uptight. The fact that it was Lola and her attorney … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah, Round Four

Posted on January 8, 2007 by

As we moved closer to the day that a decision had to be made about Isaiah, Lola was talking more and more like she was assuming that she would retain her parental rights. Her drug rehab counselors were giving her pep talks and her lawyer was apparently encouraging her. She would talk about these things in front of me as if I was disinterested in what was happening. Some of her talk was clearly fantasy. For instance, she told me that she was going to be trained to be an ultrasound technician for a hospital. She had not finished high … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah, Round Two

Posted on December 31, 2006 by

In a previous article, I described how we received a surprise phone call that informed us that the birth mother of the four boys that we were about to adopt had given birth to yet another boy. We quickly agreed that we wanted him. Talk about a surprise pregnancy! However, there was one problem. The first state social worker that saw that he would be available ignored the fact that his siblings were about to be adopted and placed him in another home. Her reasoning was that Nancy and I were older parents. And, she noticed that early on we … Continue reading →

Adoption Day #2

Posted on February 9, 2007 by

I have detailed in a number of blogs what turned out to be a fight for Isaiah. He came to our house on a “foster to adopt” basis because we already had adopted his four older maternal brothers. His birth mother had been encouraged by a movie (Losing Isaiah) to fight for his custody. She finally decided, during court ordered mediation, to sign a relinquishment of her parental rights. We agreed to send her, through an intermediary to protect our identity, pictures and a narrative of all five boys every six months. We had a “goodbye visit” with her and … Continue reading →

Bad Parents Have Legal Rights

Posted on February 1, 2007 by

When our adopted children first came to live with us, the parental rights of their birth mother had not been resolved. This happens in many, if not most, adoptions. I will warn you that the process can be very frustrating. We have adopted five maternal brothers which involved two separate adoption proceedings. In the first one, there never was much doubt that she was going to drag it out as long as possible and then sign relinquishment papers. However, she threatened to contest the right to retain her parental rights in the second adoption. The birth mother of our boys … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6

Posted on January 19, 2007 by

I must admit that I never thought that I would be writing that this blog is the sixth in the series that discusses the desirable traits that a person should have that is thinking of adopting a special needs child. The person should have endurance, or staying power, and be willing to be persistent in getting the job done properly. I am going to focus on the challenges of taking our five boys on a trip to illustrate my points. Our oldest grown son and his family live in San Antonio which is about a four hour drive away from … Continue reading →

The Last Final Visit

Posted on January 10, 2007 by

After Lola signed a relinquishment of parental rights, it was time to schedule a goodbye visit. I was not looking forward to it because she was in bad shape for the one before. CPS accommodated me by scheduling it in the middle of the day so I would not have to fight rush hour traffic. At best, it is an hour drive each way to get to their main offices for me. I was there on time and Lola was about fifteen minutes late. In her defense, she had to travel there by bus and change bus routes twice. I … Continue reading →