Support for Single Adoptive Parents

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

30 Oct 2007 04:20 PM

How can single adoptive parents best find support? Sometimes they feel conspicuous at adoptive parent gatherings, since so many adoptive parents are couples. Other single parents may have trouble commiserating with the single adoptive parent, feeling that the adoptive parent chose to raise the child alone while many single parents were unexpectedly thrust into their situation. Single parent support groups may focus many of their discussions on dealing with ex-spouses and on financial and legal matters.

Single parents create networks of support within their extended families and communities, and with other single and/or adoptive parents. These informal networks provide support for parents and a sense of community for children. Many parents have stayed in touch with parents they met while traveling to adopt their children, forming an extended family of sorts. This has the added advantage of giving kids buddies who understand being adopted and possibly what it's like to be a non-Caucasian with a Caucasian parent.

One adoption agency offers a monthly support group for single adoptive parents and singles waiting to adopt. It is for parents of infants to preschoolers. It is facilitated by a social worker. The first hour is for presentation and discussion of topics helpful to parents. Child care is provided. The second hour is for a potluck dinner and social with a clothing, toy and book swap. During the summer informal meetings are held at local parks.

I urge more adoption agencies to emulate this example. Ask your adoption agency if they will provide a space and support for a group to meet there, even if they are not prepared to supply a facilitator yet. You can get together informally; you can arrange for speakers to come or for parents to take turns sharing tips. I am in one mothers' group which has "sharing circles" quarterly, each focusing on a theme such as "sleep struggles", "cheap summer fun", "living on one income", "family spirituality", "nutrition", etc.

You may also develop internet buddies who share your experience. And of course, Families.com has a Single Parents Blog as well as an Adoption Blog!

Please see these related blogs:

Foster Parents Will Have Emergencies

Can't Find A Parenting Support Group? Start Your Own

What You Have to Offer a Support Group

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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