State Agency: Help or Hindrance?

Posted on December 9, 2006 by

We have now adopted five maternal brothers out of our state’s foster system. We started the process when we took the first child in February, 2003. We were finally free of all responsibilities to the state when the fifth child was adopted in January, 2006. Frequently, the people working for the state were a hindrance to the process. I can give several examples. By May, 2003, we had the first four boys, one of whom was a newborn, in our home. In a short period of time, they had moved from an abusive home, to a shelter, to a foster … Continue reading →

Work of the Devil: Cocaine

Posted on February 17, 2007 by

In my last blog, I wondered whether drugs have some of the blame for the increase in child abuse cases in our country. There have recently been a number of incidents in elementary schools where children have brought cocaine to the classroom. A few days ago, an eight year old boy in Houston brought three packets of cocaine to school. Apparently, several of his classmates told a teacher and the Houston police were called in. The boy told authorities that he did not know what the substance was, other than that it was valuable. He had taken it from one … Continue reading →

The Trend to Open Adoption

Posted on February 13, 2007 by

Apparently, the current trend in adoption circles is toward open adoption. In an open adoption, the birth parent is allowed to occasionally have contact with the children. Most of the prominent adoption magazines strongly recommend it. It is also the in-vogue direction that social work academics seem to be leaning. My wife and I were recently driving home from a three day vacation and “just for fun”, Nancy called in to a very popular national radio show hosted by a well-known family issues psychologist. The radio host seemed oblivious to all of our good reasons to avoid our children’s birth … Continue reading →

Foster Care Reform

Posted on February 2, 2007 by

The Texas legislature has apparently become very concerned with recent revelations in regard to huge deficiencies in the state’s ability to oversee foster homes and child care facilities. Outside of Dallas, a six year old child was recently murdered by a very violent teenage member of her foster family. In this incident which was reported in a previous blog, the state’s lax supervision practices were brought to light. A top CPS official was called upon to testify before a legislative committee in a public hearing. The administrator came under intense questioning. He promised the legislators that his agency is working … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 2

Posted on January 15, 2007 by

This is the second in a series of blogs that discuss the traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child must have. The person needs to be adept at adjusting to sudden developments, anxieties and hardships. All of these things will come, the only question is when. When one of our children came to live with us, he almost immediately started having fits and rages. It was unlike anything that I had seen before. The slightest upset, and frequently nothing that we saw, would trigger them. He had these episodes for up to an hour at a time, … Continue reading →

Abusive Foster Homes

Posted on January 13, 2007 by

Last November, Mesa Family Services, a company that licensed and operated foster homes in the Dallas area, lost its permit because two children had died violently in separate incidents in their homes in the last four years. A company called Therapeutic Family Life took over one hundred of their homes. Apparently, there was little improvement in supervision and conditions. A five year old girl has been violently murdered in one of those homes and her foster mother has been arrested. Apparently, her teenaged son, who has been arrested for murder, had been beating the little girl and her siblings. Police … Continue reading →

The Last Final Visit

Posted on January 10, 2007 by

After Lola signed a relinquishment of parental rights, it was time to schedule a goodbye visit. I was not looking forward to it because she was in bad shape for the one before. CPS accommodated me by scheduling it in the middle of the day so I would not have to fight rush hour traffic. At best, it is an hour drive each way to get to their main offices for me. I was there on time and Lola was about fifteen minutes late. In her defense, she had to travel there by bus and change bus routes twice. I … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah, Round Five

Posted on January 8, 2007 by

There were a lot of people in attendance at the mediation meeting. Our state social worker was there, with her boss, who brought her boss. The volunteer from Child Advocates was there, with her boss. The remaining participants were the mediator, Lola and her lawyer, the state’s lawyer, Nancy, and me. Apparently, a lot of people thought that there was a lot at stake. I certainly did. The mediator was doing all of the things that he could do to calm everyone and facilitate a free discussion. Lola was clearly uptight. The fact that it was Lola and her attorney … Continue reading →