Search Results for: blog stages of birthparents thinking about adoption

Book Review : For the Love of a Child: The Journey of Adoption

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This book is called For the Love of a Child: The Journey of Adoption (not to be confused with another book called For Love of a Child: Stories of Adoption). This book is published by Deseret Press especially for Latter-Day Saints, but it is very useful for all expectant parents considering placing a child for adoption and their families, as well as informative for relatives, school personnel, counselors and church leaders. The book is unique in its exploration of the spiritual journey many people go through in dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, infertility, and/or adoption. The first part of the … Continue reading →

What is Adoption Loss?

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We all know of miscarriage, or pregnancy loss. “Adoption loss” is the bereavement felt when an expected adoption does not occur. Although less than one-tenth of a percent of finalized adoptions are contested each year, parents are often heavily invested emotionally before finalization or before placement. Often they have been meeting with birthparents for several months. They may have seen the baby via ultrasound, chosen a name for the baby, shared the news with their families, prepared the baby’s room, and bought clothing specific to the gender of the expected child. Some birth parents even invite the adoptive parents to … Continue reading →

Month in Review: Adoption Blog, December 2007

I began the month with a book review that tied in to my November series on coping with discrimination and racism. The Christmas Menorahs: How a Town Fought Hate is based on an inspiring true story of how a town in Montana came together when Jewish and African-American families were terrorized. Then I ran Part One and Part Two Part Two of Is It Okay to Be Choosy? regarding the comments adopting parents often get that if they “really wanted to help”, they’d choose the most needy child or the one with the most special needs–and sometimes we lay this … Continue reading →

Stages of Birthparents’ Thinking About Adoption

My last two blogs have been based on Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg’s work in their book, Inside Transracial Adoption. I have tried to briefly summarize their explanation of common stages gone through by adoptees and adoptive parents. In this blog I will discuss their interpretation of birthparents’ reactions. Naturally, these ideas represent the authors’ experiences of patterns many members of the adoption triad (child, birthparents, adoptive parents) report feeling. Individuals’ experiences may be different, of course. In the Pre-Conscious Stage, birthparents think that even though it breaks their heart not to be able to raise their baby, the adoption … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parents’ Stages of Thinking about Adoption and Race

My last blog talked about the stages of thinking adopted children sometimes go through as conceptualized by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg in their book Inside Transracial Adoption. In this blog I’ll summarize a few of their thoughts about the stages adoptive parents go through in their thinking. In the Pre-Conscious Stage, parents believe that the people they know will not have biases based on race or adoption. They are excited about adoption, perhaps feeling it is a noble calling, but basically believe their family will be the same as any other—love is all they’ll need. They believe that race … Continue reading →