Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 3) Controlling

by Anna Glendenning | More from this Blogger

24 Mar 2006 10:54 AM

Children with attachment disorders have learned to live life as if their surroundings are out of their control and unsafe. When an ordinary child has a feeling of fear they rush to find a parent to protect them. Children with attachment disorders tend to try and protect themselves from what they believe is unsafe.

A child with an attachment disorder may appear to be "bossy" and become very upset when the see others act independently. Some children will try to run the whole household, and give orders to all the family members. For a child with an attachment disorder showing the side effects of controlling behaviors it is all about--one kid against the world. For these children controlling anything, even the smallest things, brings a feeling of comfort.

It is important for parents to clearly define the difference between parent's and children's roles in the home. Finding ways to point out what parents do for children and what children do for parents is one of the most important ways we can help a child with an attachment disorder let go of the need to control. Look for ways to point out things that Mom's do for their children, such as packing lunch, or doing laundry as well as things mom does for the family like cooking dinner and grocery shopping. Point out the things dads do for their children such as fixing bikes, and building new beds and things dads do for the whole family like working hard to earn the money.

Remind the child that it's their job to be a kid and learn what kids have to learn. Kids might help set the table, but moms cook the dinner. Kids might help get the mail but parents pay the bills. Kids might get to choose the flavor of ice cream but parents decide when they can eat some.

Some of the side effect behaviors seen in children with attachment disorders are:

• Side Effects of Attachment Disorders Series Introduction.
• Opposition.
• Conscience Development.
• Stealing and Jealousy.
• Thinking errors.
• Anger and Rage.
• Feeling.
• Requesting and Meeting the Requests.
• Decision-Making

Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms: A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z

For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.

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Learn more about Anna Glendenning

Anna Glendenning is a mother of four. Two biological children grown and out of college, and two siblings and adopted together in 2003. Anna's Personal Website http://www.adoptiveparentsnetwork.

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