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Impulse Control Disorder

Shortly after the boys moved in, the words “dysfunction” and “disorder” became commonplace in our everyday language. There were a multitude of them, some diagnosed, others lying in wait to be discovered in the boys’ everyday behavior. We were aware of Randy’s ADHD, FAE, and learning disabilities. We soon learned Daniel had real and critical problems with Attachment Disorder and hoarding issues. However, it took us awhile to realize there was a serious issue with Randy; he had been diagnosed with Impulse Control Disorder, but we weren’t aware of it until we experienced his behavioral symptoms. Our first inclination of … Continue reading →

Compulsive Hoarding-Part 3

In the third part of Compulsive Hoarding, I would like to discuss the strategies we employed in our attempt to positively retrain Daniel in his obsessive behaviors beyond the kitchen and his food issues. Medications are available for the treatment of obsessive behavior. Because the symptoms are usually included in the categories of Attachment Disorder and Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, some physicians prescribe meds (used to treat these specific disorders) to assist in minimizing the symptoms. Paul and I declined this resource of treatment. We felt in the beginning, and still maintain the logic, Daniel’s compulsive behavior was due to his circumstances … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 11) Decision-Making

A child who is dealing with an attachment disorder usually has a history of self-parenting. When children think that only their own conclusions are dependable, they stop viewing the advice and teaching of other people as valid or important. Children with attachment disorders may have decided that the only person they can depend on is himself or herself. No one is credible to the child and no one has anything important to offer a them–in his or her thinking. Some children with attachment disorders will decide to make all of their own decisions. Usually it turns out that their decision-making … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 10) Meeting Requests.

In the last Blog, I outlined the nature of Requesting behaviors in children with attachment disorders. There appears to be two extremes; 1) They fail to make requested for needs they do have and 2) They chant and manipulate and can be very demanding. This Blog will address some of the ways parents might find a way to cope with requesting behaviors, and a few ideas to help a child understand and over come requesting behaviors. The most important and first thing parents of a child with an attachment disorder need to do is encourage the child to ask for … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 9) Requesting.

All children want things and healthy children learn that asking means they often get what they have requested, and once in awhile the answer is, “no.” Children who grow up in ordinary environments learn that it is okay to ask and that the answer, “no” doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them–it just means, “no.” Child with attachment disorders seem to be one extreme or the other when it comes to requesting. Some children appear unable to ask for their needs to be met. These children often suffer from very low or broken self-esteems. Often a child who is … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 8) Feeling

Children who have attachment disorders have spent a significant amount of time thinking about survival. Many children have spent so much time just making it one day to the next that they don’t have the time or energy to even think about how they are feeling. A child with an attachment disorder is usually very out of touch with feelings in general, except for the common feeling of anger. A child who is not in touch with their own feelings may not even know when they feel sick. These children are the one’s likely to stand outside in the freezing … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 7) Anger and Rage

Anger of course! Who wouldn’t be angry having their lives turned upside down? A child with an attachment disorder usually feels like life is all buck luck for them. Often a child with an attachment disorder resents all the past rejection and abandonment feelings they have learned to accept. Some children can rage for hours about things that were never really there and for things, they never got. Many attachment disorder children are completely out of touch with some of the other important emotions and feelings such as joy, sadness, pain, fear, and most other emotions, but they know what … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 6) Thinking Errors

Children with attachment disorders will often draw an incorrect conclusion. The changes in caregivers and lack of control the child has had over their lives causes many children to become emotionally isolated. There is no one who has always been a part of their lives, and there are huge raps in what the child has learned along the way. A child with an attachment disorder has never experienced a close enough relationship where modeling would have played a big part in the child’s development. There has been abusive, neglectful and just different changes in their lifetime. Perceptions about the world … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 5) Stealing and Jealousy

Stealing and Jealousy are two behaviors many parents find the most difficult to understand. Adoptive parents who can step back and think about the reasons a child has developed these kinds of behaviors may be able to help their children overcome stealing and jealousy needs. Some children with attachment disorders steal for no apparent reason other than instant gratification. The stolen object provides a brief period of satisfaction and the child may have no consideration for the feelings of the victim. The concern has nothing to do with anyone that may be hurt–the concern is about having something to fill … Continue reading →

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 4) Conscience Development

In the effort to survive, children with attachment disorders have learned to think about only themselves. Because the child hasn’t had a chance to develop a healthy long lasting attachment, the child may not have learned how to care about the way his or her behaviors affect anyone else. To a child with an attachment disorder it really doesn’t matter how the new parents or caregivers feel about the child, he or she has not had the opportunity to develop an active conscience. A healthy well-attached child begins to care about how their actions affect the other important people in … Continue reading →