Sibling Attachment

by Shoshanna Grey | More from this Blogger

12 Jun 2008 02:23 PM

Something that I get asked about a lot is my children's adjustment to one another. We took three kids of different ages and backgrounds and threw them together and said "you're family now". It makes sense that some people wonder how that went!

I have honestly been amazed at how well it has gone. Once Josiah was in our home I realized that we had a responsibility to protect him - even if that meant protecting him from his own siblings! I wondered if it would be too hard for him to have two older kids in the house, if they would be gentle with him, if they would all get along. Those of you who know our story, though, know also that we felt called by God to adopt these specific children. Because of that, I had to trust that He would work out the details and give us the resources we needed to handle any challenges that came up.

Our children have blended together beautifully. Josiah was used to being in a foster home with several other children so he had missed having other kids to play with. He was thrilled when Laney and Miles arrived and became instant playmates! As for Laney and Miles, they came from a culture that values little children and where the older children care for the younger. Even though Josiah was almost 2 and big for his age, they automatically classified him as a baby and treated him accordingly. They would get things for him, play with him and "baby" him - and of course Josiah ate that right up!

I have been amazed to watch my three kids as they have gotten to know each other and slipped into their new roles as oldest, middle and youngest child. Now that they've been together almost nine months, it feels as if they have always been together. Josiah adores his siblings. Laney tries to convince me to let Josiah go to school with her. Miles comes home from school with a treat and quickly shares it with his sister and brother. They are siblings, they are family and they don't doubt it for a second.

I do realize that not all kids adjust this quickly to each other and if that happens to you it is okay. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. A lot depends on the personality of each child, their past experiences, your parenting style, etc. I would love to hear from my readers. How have your children done with attachment to one another?

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Learn more about Shoshanna Grey

Shoshanna Grey has worked as an occupational social worker, teacher, child care provider, customer service reqpresentative, college recruiter and several other positions over the years.

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