Search Results for: blog should you adopt transracially

Adoption Books with Great Art: You Are Special, You Were Chosen

You Are Special; You Were Chosen is a sweet little book which grew out of the bedtime story that the author’s father read to her each night. Its soft, detailed colored pencil/pastel illustrations definitely qualify it for my Adoption Books with Great Art series. The lovely pictures show diverse children and families, including siblings of different races, which I really appreciate, as that is something I have a hard time finding. Books featuring a multiracial classroom are becoming common, as are books featuring families of color—but multiracial families are still difficult to find. I almost bought a book the other … Continue reading →

Media Review: Opposing Viewpoints: Adoption

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The Opposing Viewpoints Series from Greenhaven Press is a series I have long admired as a student, citizen and prospective educator. The series contains over 90 books ranging from Abortion to Welfare Reform. The series has been in existence for 25 years but is frequently updated. Each book organizes itself around four or five main questions relating to a topic. The editors seek out both prominent and lesser-known voices on various sides to give opinions from multiple viewpoints. So what is controversial about adoption? More than you might think. Some essays in the book directly oppose each other. The first … Continue reading →

Care of African American Children in Transracial Adoptions: Summer Skincare

When I communicated with Ed Paul, adoption blogger here are families.com about giving advice to parents of transracially adopted African American Children, he made several requests. One of those requests was for skincare advice. I already wrote about winter skincare treatment. Now I will address summer skincare. Summer skincare for African American children is similar to winter skincare, as you need to seal in moisture after bathing. It is different however in the fact that heavy creams and lotions will melt in the sun and harm the skin. Therefore, you need a light moisturizer. I find that baby oil and … Continue reading →

Choosing Whether and How to Adopt Transracially–Our Decision

Adoption workers usually advise people considering transracial adoption to consider how their families and communities will accept and support a child of a different race, realizing that the child will not be a baby forever–transracial adoption means having a teen-ager and grandchildren of other races. The next question is whether the parents have resources to help the child feel pride in his/her culture, and whether the child will see role models who look like him/herself. We felt that the first issue was not a problem. (In fact my parents had nearly adopted an African-American boy themselves—that adoption never took place … Continue reading →

African American Support of Transracial Adoption

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In 1972, the National Association of Black Social Workers took a very strong stand against transracial adoption. This factor hindered the adoption of African American children by families of other races. This position has moderated over the years due to several factors. The number of black children needing homes has grown significantly. Also, federal legislation like the Multiethnic Placement Act of 1994 has forced adoption agencies to be open to transracial placements of children. Today, the position of NABSW is that there should always be an attempt to place children in homes that match their ethnicity. My wife and I … Continue reading →

Transracial Adoption, The Humorous Side

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My wife and I have adopted five maternal brothers. Their ethnicity varies because they have different fathers. We are in our fifties and Caucasian. It can be amusing when all of us go out together to a public place. We enjoy watching people looking at us and trying to figure out our family dynamics. When I take one or more of our boys somewhere with me, I usually get a remark to the effect that I have beautiful grandchildren. I always tell the person that I am the children’s father. I then walk away, leaving them to wonder about us. … Continue reading →

A New Normal

Many parents who adopt transracially deeply feel that looks shouldn’t matter. And in one sense they shouldn’t. But I’ve come to see that looks cause assumptions to be made. Assumptions that my daughter is lost, although she’s standing right next to me. (She’s Korean and I’m fair-skinned.) Assumptions that I’m her babysitter. Assumptions that she doesn’t speak English. Certain aspects of how one looks carry assumptions based on past experiences and emotions. Different people have different assumptions about who feels threatening and who feels comforting. The more we are around something, the more it becomes part of what we define … Continue reading →

Resources for Responding to Racism: Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice

In my last blog I mentioned recent incidents of racism against adopted children. One resource parents can use for talking to their children, and recommending to their children’s teachers (perhaps Scout leaders and religious leaders too) are the book Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice, written by Caryn Stern-LaRosa and Ellen Hofheimer Bettmann and published by the Anti-Defamation League (a portion of the proceeds from the book go to supporting the League’s work). One weakness is the book’s statistics on U.S. population by race, which were taken from the 1990 census, making them old even when the book … Continue reading →

Some Days I Wish I Was Invisible

Sometime ago a prospective adoptive parent wrote to the forums with a concern. She was considering keeping her child’s adoption secret from extended family. She mentioned that she didn’t want them to be always judging how she acted with the child, how she disciplined, whether she was doing the same thing with her adopted child as she had with her biological child. Most of the time I am out in public I react to my kids without thinking about adoption, which is as it should be. Occasionally I wonder afterward what people may be thinking. Today was one of those … Continue reading →

Introducing My Family

It’s good to be back up and running here at the adoption blog, and great to be working with Rachel. I will miss hearing about Ed’s boys, but I’m thrilled for Rachel’s newest addition (and addition-to-be!) The final two blogs of my series on children’s books with adoption themes are now published, so I invite you to check them out! It’s occurred to me that, while I’ve shared important pieces of our family’s story and some of my feelings along the way, I’ve tended to be more informational and reflective in my writing. I don’t intend to change that, but … Continue reading →