Should I Adopt? Part 2

by Shoshanna Grey | More from this Blogger

16 May 2006 07:28 PM

The last article on considering adoption focused on you (and your spouse) feel about adoption. The next set of questions you need to ask yourself is about your home, your family situation and your ability to take on the challenge of adding an adopted child to your family.

How stable is our home life?

Adoption is not easy. Just like adding a new baby to the household, it will definitely disrupt your schedule and everyone in the family has to adjust. With adoption, it is often not a infant who is joining your family, but an older baby, toddler or even a school aged child. This child will come to your home with experiences and with a life before joining your family. Their past will affect how they adjust into you family. Most adopted children will adjust well, but it does take time to help them settle in. If you already feel overwhelmed by your current family situation - whether it be your kids, your marriage or other pressures - then it may not be the best time to add an adopted child to your family.

Do we feel equipped to handle the extra issues that many adopted children will have to deal with?

As I stated in the previous section, adopted children do come to their forever families with a past. Some children have a positive start with loving caregivers, others have dealt with abuse and neglect or institutionalized care. Whether their past was positive or negative, adopted children still have extra issues to deal with. Even if a child comes to your family at birth, they still will at some point have to process the fact that they were adopted. Each child has to reconcile this in their minds and decide what adoption means to them. It is important that adoptive parents are willing to help their child work through the process of understanding adoption and healing from any past hurts. You don't have to have all of the answers, but you do need to be willing to learn and to help your child through these issues.

Learn more about Shoshanna Grey

Shoshanna Grey has worked as an occupational social worker, teacher, child care provider, customer service reqpresentative, college recruiter and several other positions over the years.

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Michelle Vandepas (579) 03 Jun 2006 08:06 PM

I think you are giving good advice to be aware there will be some issues, even if adopting at birth. We've started discussion adoption, even at our early stage. Our daughter is 2. I want to try to make it, not a big deal, but a subject that is ok to talk about. Thanks for your blog.