Separated Siblings

by Fatherofeight | More from this Blogger

09 Feb 2007 12:08 AM

I have written several blogs that describe the problems that the foster system has in Texas. I am going to focus on the harsh reality that sibling groups are almost always separated. The last thing that many of these children have to hold on to is taken away.

The problems of the system are essentially the problems of our society. There are over 20,000 children in the system in Texas. That is way too many because there aren't nearly enough well qualified foster families. This numbers problem lets some ruthless people into foster care who care only about making a buck.

I have been in a CPS office when a social worker has three or four young, scared children sitting at her desk with no place to put them. It is not a pretty picture. The children get put any place that they can find for them. The kids get separated from their siblings; there is no way around it.

I want to relate a story that recently happened in central Texas. Several years ago, two brothers were in foster care. The youngest, who was five, got lucky and was adopted. His brother was left behind.

Texas has embraced the idea of the now famous Heart Galleries in New Mexico. The youngest brother was taken by his adoptive family to one of the Heart Galleries because he wanted to see his brother, whose picture is there. He left a note by his brother's picture. In the note, he told all about what a wonderful boy his brother is and asked people to consider adopting him.

One of the ladies who frequently comments on my blogs has just taken a sibling group. My son-in-law's brother and his wife just received four siblings that they plan to adopt. I recently heard from a lady who lives out of state. She and her husband and son are about to receive five siblings from Texas that will become a part of their family.

Please help anyone that you may know that is doing this great work. If you do not know anyone to help, then pray for all of them. If you would like to see some of the children that presently need a home, click here.

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rsbg (501) 09 Feb 2007 07:23 PM

Great blog! And good for you for advocating for the children! You are right, siblings are all these children have left of their biological family and I feel it is VERY important for siblings to stay together. Keep up the good work!

Fatherofeight (2475) 09 Feb 2007 10:23 PM

Thanks my friend. It just breaks my heart. Nancy and I are at our limit or we would take more. Hopefully our advocacy will bear fruit.

PATTI (580) 13 Feb 2007 11:56 AM

Dear Ed, I pray for you and your family daily. Thanks for making a difference. PATTI

Fatherofeight (2475) 13 Feb 2007 02:26 PM

I appreciate your support, Patti, and covet your prayers.

gina00 (680) 19 Feb 2007 12:47 PM

Ed Paul, My husband & I were foster parents in CO for a while & we saw similarly sad separation of siblings. We cared for a boy that had his two sisters adopted, but the three brothers, who all exhibit significant attachment disorder & conduct disorder have been placed in separate homes w/ very little to no sibling visitation. I think there needs to be more accountability for the foster care system. The system here gives no voice to the foster parents. The private foster care agency we were w/ in CO deemed our foster son was too severe for their agency & then we were not allowed to have continued contact w/ him, even though his parental rights had been terminated and he had no one consistently in his life. I think there would be more successful adoptions/placements if the information from foster parents would be considered as part of decision making, etc. I think there are many foster parents who would love to continue to act as a big brother/big sister to kids that are no longer w/ them (especially kids for which parental rights have been terminated) but the foster care system deems that too emotionally difficult. (as if having NO ONE care about them long term is a better option!!!) There are so many sibling groups that have been separated w/ no real visitation!!!! How traumatic for the kids! What a blessing you are to your kids!! We will be praying for you in your ministry to your family. We are so encouraged after reading some of your blogs today. We recently adopted our first son in May from Korea and are in the process of hopefully adopting another child. Tim & Gina Swanson

Fatherofeight (2475) 19 Feb 2007 08:55 PM

Thanks for the comment, I can tell you guys know what you are talking about. To often, there is so much pressure to move kids that I think it gets impersonal, "we can get the pretty one adopted, if we can separate him from..." and so on. There is a place in Houston called the Hay Center where they help kids who have graduated from the foster system and finding sibs is the biggest request. My blog was entitled "Services Provided for Foster Children" that tells about it. Also, there are some blogs about how bad it has gotten, "Foster Care Reform", for instance. Its a terrble mess, 20,000 foster kids in Texas. Its hard to think about.