Search Results for: blog saying no to a sibling placement

Raining Babies: Birth Siblings

Unsure of whether or not I’d ever hear, “Congratulations, you’re finally a mom!” I would often sulk while in my tub searching my heart, in tears pleading with God, wondering if I’d upset Him in some way that He’d decide not to bless us. I imagined myself (interestingly always with a boy) with a son taking him on nature walks showing him the wonders of God’s creation. I imagined myself tucking him in at night telling him about Jesus. But as much as I imagined these things, I didn’t believe in my heart my husband and I would be so … Continue reading →

Making Contact: Finding My Child’s Adopted Siblings

After three years of playing amateur private investigator, I finally found the rest of my son’s birth siblings’ adoptive families. I desperately wanted more information on my son’s family medical background than I was given by our state. I wanted to know if the other families got more information on my son’s birth parents character as well. Here is the story on how we made contact. For easier reference and safety purposes, I will refer to my son’s birth siblings by their maternal birth order rather than their names. My son is the 6th child of 8 by his birthmother. … Continue reading →

The Prayer of Jabez: That I Not Cause Pain

“…that I may not cause pain!” This last plea we read in 1 Chronicles 4:10 from Jabez is the most humble one. It’s as if he recognizes that because of evil in this world, even we are sometimes used to hurt others. Often this is without intention. The Bible tells us to be sober minded (Titus 2:6 and 1 Peter 4:7). This is so we can be better aware of what’s going on around us. I believe it’s also so we will be vigilant not allowing the enemy to use us as a vessel to do harm to others. Consider … Continue reading →

Meeting Birth Siblings

I’m struck with awe every time I meet a sibling of one of my boys’. When I get ready to meet one for the first time, I expect to see this strong resemblance between them and my child. Though I can usually fish for some similarities, it is so difficult to look at a child who is not a sibling by our immediate family relation and grasp that the child is related by genetics. I have been blessed to get to know both of my youngest son’s half siblings and three out of six of my older son’s birth siblings; … Continue reading →

Saying No To a Sibling Placement

Last month I wrote a blog entitled “The Call for a Sibling” where I touched on how likely it was there would be additional children born to our sons’ birth mothers. I’m going to further elaborate here on the pain of saying “no”. I wrote the following October 13, 2005 while I was awake in grief and in prayer: Who’s Child Are You? Who’s child are you sent from above? Many homes waiting to offer you love. Forming in chaos I hear your soul cry, “Pray for my life, my mom’s getting high.” Longing hearts waiting to wipe away tears; … Continue reading →

The 2008 Adoption Guide

Initially I thought $14.95 was a steep price for what looked like a magazine issue. But the 2008 Adoption Guide is in fact more informative than many books. It is a combination news digest, workbook, telephone and website directory, statistics almanac, and collection of personal essays. The annual guide, from the publisher of Adoptive Families Magazine, is a concise introduction to adoption topics, but it also provides the insight from personal experiences that people exploring adoption crave (and that experienced adoptive parents can’t seem to resist reading either). The guide covers the four major types of adoption: domestic infant adoption … Continue reading →

Fast Start: Hurrying Up While Waiting

You’ve probably heard international adoption called a “hurry-up and wait” game. Meaning, that you are often in a mad hurry to fulfill every request for a document or signature, lest you miss the monthly meeting of the Romanian adoption committee by one day, or your social worker doesn’t get a chance to fax her counterpart before her vacation, or whatever, and you miss another precious month of your child’s infancy. Then, you don’t hear back from anyone for weeks. Sometimes slow and steady is okay. You focus on your work, or your other kids, or whatever, sending out questionnaires to … Continue reading →

Changing Seasons

Have you ever had a feeling like something in your life was about to change; like a new chapter or season in your life is about to begin? That’s kind of where I’ve been for while now. In the past, prior to knowledge of a move, promotion or placement of a child in our home, I’ve had this feeling too. Maybe it’s just becoming familiar with the first tastes of a new season; like the crispness in the morning as autumn has approached, or the fragrant air of spring. Since I’m not sure exactly what God’s plans are for my … Continue reading →

Reflections on Adoption

Had someone told me one day I would grow up, meet a nice man who I’d marry, would willingly go through state adoption; that our children would be born to mothers who were unstable and our kids would have challenges likely as a result, I would have told them they were crazy! Years ago I believed that the only people who adopted were those who couldn’t have children of their “own”. I’m not sure if going through pregnancy and childbirth is harder than adoption. I can’t even say for sure that love for a child who’s been adopted is different … Continue reading →

Are You Ready For Rosie?

Okay, I confess, I got caught up in it too. For some inexplicable reason I got sucked into “The View” vortex and began following the drama that unfolded when Star Jones Reynolds left the popular TV chat fest and Rosie O’Donnell was chosen to fill an empty seat (for the record, according to show creator Barbara Walters, Rosie is “officially” taking Meredith Vieira’s seat not Jones Reynolds’). Now, the countdown to Rosie’s debut on the show is almost over. In just a few hours, we will all be able to see if all the hype was… well, just hype. For … Continue reading →