Search Results for: blog part 2 attachment parenting of adopted children

Book Review: The Post-Adoption Blues

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The Post-Adoption Blues, subtitled “Concerning the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption”, is written by a husband and wife team. Dr. John R. Thompson, MD, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. His wife, Dr. Karen Foli, PhD., is a registered nurse and a medical writer who has written extensively about children with special needs. Together they are the parents of two sons by birth and one daughter by adoption. Their daughter arrived from India at the age of five months. Karen Foli experienced many emotions upon meeting her daughter. These included some emotions which she had never expected, such as guilt, confusion, … Continue reading →

Book Review: Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption

Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption by Sarah Levete is part of the “Let’s Talk About” series from Stargazer books. Other titles include “Let’s Talk About….Racism, Learning Difficulties, Bullying, Drugs, Stepfamilies, Keeping Safe, Being an Immigrant” and more. The book begins with “What’s My Family Like?”, “Why is Someone Fostered?” and “What Will My Foster Family be Like?” It mentions reasons why children are referred for foster care and explains that foster families are chosen and trained to provide a safe place. The book talks about the feelings kids may experience about being placed in foster care and about moving … Continue reading →

Stockholm Syndrome and Attachment Disorders: My Thoughts

It might seem odd that I find a connection between Stockholm Syndrome and Attachment Disorder but, for some strange reason I do. In our walk as adoptive parents I have found many who doubt the true depth of an attachment disorder, and tell us they simply don’t understand what the problem might be with a child who can’t accept and love parents after living a difficult life. Yet, these same doubters are willing and able to accept the fact that a well adjusted person could be kidnapped and abused into bonding with their captors? Stockholm Syndrome is a term used … Continue reading →

Attaching in Adoption by: Deborah Gray

Attaching in Adoption Practical Tools for Today’s Parents by Deborah Gray is in-depth guidebook for any adoptive parent but especially for parents who adopt an older child. As a clinical social worker, Gray has hands-on experience and offers child, family, and individual therapy specializing in attachment, grief and trauma. Gray continues to work in the field at the Northwest Attachment Center in Kirkland, Washington. Attaching in Adoption provides adoptive parents and extended families a clear and understandable picture of how children and families adjust post placement and adoption. Gray details the issues families adopting older children most often face. Her … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-House Rules.

Families fostering or adopting older children are usually well trained with ideas on making transition and family living less stressful for everyone. One very important tool adoptive parents of older children are encouraged to use is some kind of “House Rules” system. It’s helpful for everyone involved to understand what the expectations are from the start. Most families are encouraged to put the rules down in writing, either a poster or a contract depending on the age of the child. House Rules give adoptive parents the chance to let a child know what happens in their Home. In my training, … Continue reading →

Adopting An Older Child–Having A Positive Attitude.

Families who decide to adopt an older child generally endure several hours of training about all the different risks, issues and disorders we may have to face once a child is placed in our home for adoption. We are offered lists of acronyms for every kind of problem any parent might face, along with pages of information about some of the special needs an older child may suffer. Most of our family and friends are able to hold a straight face and agree to be a part of our Support System. A few people say foolish, uneducated, or ridiculous things … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-Making Memories.

I don’t think that everything I do with my children revolves around the fact they were adopted. Many of my parenting ideas I learned with my older children Sean and Tori and as different as it is to be an adoptive parent some things are just about the kind of family we want to be. I have always wanted to be the kind of family that makes an effort to create memories. And, I don’t consider memories to only be those big things. The holidays and vacations will create memories on their own. The memories I enjoy creating are the … Continue reading →

Adopting an Older Child–Series Overview

When people hear about adoption their typical impression is that most adoptive parents either have newborns placed or adopt internationally. The majority of people consider the adoption of a child from Foster Care as an adoptive parent’s last choice. It’s just the general impression of society, probably due in part to the lack of funding there really is when it comes to children in the system. In addition, families who adopt older children may encounter negative remarks, or judgments from friends and family. Choosing to adopt an older child internationally or from the United States Foster Care System is generally … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-When A Child Has A History.

I am a firm believer that most children thrive in an environment where one parent is home typically the mother. I feel all children do well when they have a parent at home, and are able to spend the bulk of their lives in their home with their parents. School and other activities are wonderful, but when these things are not happening there is no place like home. An adopted child especially benefits when one parent can be a full time stay at home parent. At least during the first year to three years, I feel it is especially important … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parents True Goals With House Rules.

If you’re the adoptive parent of a child who was placed at an older age, attachment issues and disorders may be a part of your family experience. In some future Blogs, I will talk about how incentives, token rewards and charts usually don’t work well with children who have serious attachment disorders. House Rules on the other hand need to be clear, consistent and visual even for an child with an attachment disorder. If adoptive parents followed their training advice and worked, hard for a healthy transition then accepting an older child placement should have started with some kind of … Continue reading →