More Reassuring Books for Adopted Children

Some time ago I published a blog on Reassuring Your Adopted Child. This blog shares some more books with reassuring messages for adopted children—and for all children. Max Lucado, author of spiritual books for both adults and children, has two books which I believe will be helpful. The first book is Just in Case You Ever Wonder. The illustrations by Toni Goffe begin with a young infant, but the text could be for either birth or adoption: “The same hands that made the stars made you.” “God made you like no one else.” “And since you were so special , … Continue reading

Sleep Issues In Adopted Children, Part Two

In Part One of this blog, I talked about sleep issues in adopted children. This blog will focus on the ways parents try to manage sleep issues, and why some of these approaches may be either more or less appropriate for an adopted child. First of all, keep expectations realistic. It takes time to adjust to new schedules and new time zones. If you are a new parent, read up on how much babies typically sleep. There is a lot of variation, and many books consider a five-hour sleep stretch to be “sleeping through the night” for a young infant. … Continue reading

Love You Forever–Reassuring Your Adopted Child

“I want to go bye-bye!” my four-year-old sobs. This has become her standard response to being reprimanded. I usually tell her she can go to her room. Then I make sure to add, “We’ll be here when you’re ready.” There is nothing particularly unusual about this, of course. It would be wrong to assume adoption is the primary cause of every emotion my daughters have. However, many adoptive parents and adoption professionals report that adopted children often experience insecurity and fear of abandonment. The last few times my daughter has wanted to go bye-bye, I tell her, “I would come … Continue reading

What Does the Hague Convention Agreement Actually Say?

Adoption periodicals and websites often refer to the “Hague Convention”, to “Hague requirements” and to countries being “Hague” or “non-Hague”. What does that mean? I gave a brief overview and shared some potential concerns. But what exactly does the Hague Convention say? “Hague” refers to the international courts at the Hague in Holland. The adoption agreement referred to is formally titled “Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect to Intercountry Adoption”. The introduction states that “the child, for the full and harmonious development of his or her personality, should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere … Continue reading

Book Review: All About Adoption:How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel About It

All About Adoption: How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel About It is a book from Magination Press, which specializes in titles helping children understand tough situations or deal with feelings. (Magination Press is also the publisher of Maybe Days, a Book about Foster Care.) All About Adoption authors Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata are both clinical psychologists specializing in families and children. All About Adoption starts out by saying “there are lots of different ways to have a baby. ..some parents have one baby..and some parents have two or three babies all at once. “Babies grow inside a … Continue reading

Adoptions: Non-Refundable?

I’ve always loved children. I’ve been babysitting my whole life, went to school to become an elementary grade school teacher, and taught preschool for two years after graduating. Since becoming a mother, I look at children in a totally different light. Before, kids were just kids. I liked them, and most of them were fun. However, some were cute, some weren’t as cute; some were brats, some were angels. Now, when I see a child, I think to myself, “Someone carried that child in her belly for 9 months. Someone gave birth to that baby. Someone probably loves that child … Continue reading

Preparing for and Processing a Reunion: Expectations and Emotions

My last blogs talked about children’s experience of open adoption and possible advantages of a meeting between the child and birth family members. Counselors and social workers familiar with adoption issues can provide invaluable help in preparing for and dealing with such a reunion. Adoption workers may help birth and adoptive parents share and manage expectations, and help them process their own adoption issues so that they can be focused on the needs of the child. For one birthfather, these sessions covered the circumstances of his daughter’s birth and adoption, his feelings for her then and now, his relationship with … Continue reading

Book Review: The Mulberry Bird

The classic adoption book The Mulberry Bird, by Anne Braff Brodzinsky, seems to be one of those books that people either love or hate. I suspect that it all depends on the timing, which in turn depends on your child. Most people say their child loved it and seemed to find it reassuring. A couple of parents are sure it caused more trouble than it averted. I shared this ambivalence. I checked this book out of the library a couple of years ago and returned it without sharing it with my kids. This time, I put it on the shelf … Continue reading