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Should Race Matter?

When my husband and I made the choice to adopt we were not picky. The questionnaires that you have to complete for the adoption process were very detailed. You have to decide if you want a boy or a girl, Caucasian, Asian, African American, Indian or any of the other ethnicities or races in the world or a child who is mix raced. You also have to consider if you will accept children with disabilities and what ages you would accept. Out of all the questions the race and ethnicity questions were the easiest we just checked YES all the … Continue reading →

Adoption Match Meeting

The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies, there was no big home where you walked in and pick what child you would like to call your own. The closest comparison I can think of is like when you are trying to buy a house. The family who would like to adopt is asked to create a one page flyer that talks about your family, what your home life is like and what you have to offer a child. When a child comes up for adoption placement that matches the criteria that you have given, they give … Continue reading →

On the Blind Side

Some people say the recently released movie “The Blind Side” has inspired them and will inspire others to reach out to youth, through adoption, foster parenting or another mentoring relationship. Others question whether it is a good picture of adoption. Perhaps it is not realistic enough, some say. Perhaps it plays into the “rescue” stereotypes—black boy from “broken home” taken into a “good Christian home” by wealthy white couple. “The Blind Side” is the story of pro football player Michael Oher, who was a first-round draft pick for the Baltimore Ravens, and of the Tuohys, a Memphis couple who invited … Continue reading →

Lest We Forget: U.S. Troops and Families were Pioneers of International Adoption

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As we remember our servicemen and women, past and present, on this Memorial Day, it is worth noting how much the landscape of adoption in America was changed by servicemen and women. U.S. soldiers fighting in Europe, participating in the post-war occupations of Germany and Japan, and later serving in Korea, Vietnam and other Asian countries helped to familiarize their families back home with the needs of the many orphans they encountered. Although some of the armed services discouraged their personnel from adopting during their service, there are several stories about units informally taking on the cause of one or … Continue reading →

Book Review: The Christmas Menorahs: How a Town Fought Hate

My last blogs have talked about racist incidents a few adoptees have recently faced and resources for responding. The Christmas Menorahs: How a Town Fought Hate, by Janice Cohn, is based on the true story of events that happened in Billings, Montana in 1993. In 1993, a group in Billings sent out leaflets saying hateful things about several ethnic groups and Jewish people in particular. They spray-painted threats on a Native American home, threatened an African-American church, and damaged a synagogue. As Hanukkah began, rocks were thrown through several windows of homes displaying menorahs. One of these large rocks shattered … Continue reading →

Barriers to Transracial Adoption

A survey of 405 adult transracial adoptees (conducted by the TransRacial Adoption Group, which is upfront about being “committed to promoting transracial adoptive placements as a viable form of adoption”) found that 97 percent of participants agreed with the statement that white adoptive parents are capable of developing a positive sense of cultural identity in an adopted black child, 86 percent did not believe that preference should always be given to an African-American couple when both a black and a white family were interested in adopting a particular black child, and 93 percent thought it was not necessary for agencies … Continue reading →

Is Transracial Adoption Necessary?

The National Association of Black Social Workers (NABSW) issued a statement against transracial adoption in 1972, excerpted below. “Black children belong physically and psychologically and culturally in black families where they can receive the total sense of themselves and develop a sound projection of their future. Only a black family can transmit the emotional and sensitive subtleties of perceptions and reactions essential for a black child’s survival in a racist society. Human beings are products of their environment and develop their sense of values, attitudes, and self-concept within their own family structures. Black children in white homes are cut off … Continue reading →

How Do My Adopted Kids Think About Skin Color?

My daughters are still too young (seven and four) for me to know exactly how they think of skin color. But I’ve jotted down things they’ve said through the years. For those new to my blogs, my husband and I are white, we have a nine-year-old biological son and two half-sisters from Korea, ages 7 and 4. I assume the girls are fully Korean. We have no birthfather information on the younger one, and she was so much lighter-skinned than her sister that we wondered if she was half-European/American. But overall she now looks much like other Korean children I … Continue reading →

Getting a Good Reception

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In my last blog, I wrote about putting up with negative views taken by some people when they see all of our family together. There are certain groups of people who usually have a more positive opinion. I have already written several blogs about the positive acceptance that we have seen from a number of African Americans . I have been thrilled by the response of my mother’s friends. When we adopted the boys, I was worried about it. My mother is in her eighties and has lived in the south all of her life. In the fifties, when my … Continue reading →

Week in Review Jan. 22-28

Week in Review Jan. 22-28 This week the adoption blog has moved from personal stories,to practical tips, to questions about our society, and back again. Monday, January 22 Services Provided for Former Foster Children Ed tells us that many foster care children age out of the system at age 18, suddenly homeless without means of support. He shares a model of a center set up in Texas to provide them with counseling and referrals and suggests that other states look into this. He also notes that, with all the material needs foster children have, the number-one request many have at … Continue reading →