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Book Review: All About Adoption:How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel About It

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All About Adoption: How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel About It is a book from Magination Press, which specializes in titles helping children understand tough situations or deal with feelings. (Magination Press is also the publisher of Maybe Days, a Book about Foster Care.) All About Adoption authors Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata are both clinical psychologists specializing in families and children. All About Adoption starts out by saying “there are lots of different ways to have a baby. ..some parents have one baby..and some parents have two or three babies all at once. “Babies grow inside a … Continue reading →

More Reassuring Books for Adopted Children

Some time ago I published a blog on Reassuring Your Adopted Child. This blog shares some more books with reassuring messages for adopted children—and for all children. Max Lucado, author of spiritual books for both adults and children, has two books which I believe will be helpful. The first book is Just in Case You Ever Wonder. The illustrations by Toni Goffe begin with a young infant, but the text could be for either birth or adoption: “The same hands that made the stars made you.” “God made you like no one else.” “And since you were so special , … Continue reading →

Reassuring Kids in Times of Disaster

Even if you don’t let your kids watch the news, they likely know about the earthquake in Haiti through all the fund-raising projects going on (for more information about children’s fundraising projects, click here) and from hearing people talk about it. Maybe your child was afraid that they would be in an earthquake. Maybe you could get out of it by saying you don’t live in an earthquake zone. I couldn’t say that, so I’d have to go into detail about houses being built better, our earthquake kit having all the necessities in it, and having police and fire personnel … Continue reading →

Book Review: In My Heart, by Molly Bang

I finally have my wish, which I blogged about nearly three years ago, to see pictures of adoptive families in books that aren’t specifically about adoption. In My Heart, by author-illustrator Molly Bang, is a wonderful author and illustrator who has received three Caldecott Honors. In My Heart is a book that will be wonderfully reassuring to all children. It helps them deal with separation from a parent. It portrays the life of a working family, narrated by the mother, who tells how she misses her child when she is at her job (a veterinarian), but then reminds herself to … Continue reading →

Preparing for and Processing a Reunion: Expectations and Emotions

My last blogs talked about children’s experience of open adoption and possible advantages of a meeting between the child and birth family members. Counselors and social workers familiar with adoption issues can provide invaluable help in preparing for and dealing with such a reunion. Adoption workers may help birth and adoptive parents share and manage expectations, and help them process their own adoption issues so that they can be focused on the needs of the child. For one birthfather, these sessions covered the circumstances of his daughter’s birth and adoption, his feelings for her then and now, his relationship with … Continue reading →

Book Review: Happy Adoption Day

Happy Adoption Day, by John McCutcheon, is a book made of the lyrics of McCutcheon’s song Happy Adoption Day, available on his album Family Garden. The book contains the music for the song for those who may want to play on the piano. It is beautifully illustrated by Julie Paschkis, whose folk-art inspired illustrations grace many children’s books. McCutcheon dedicates this book to his mother, Abby McCutcheon, a social worker who brought families together through adoption. The words are ambiguous enough to fit any family configuration, domestic, foster care or international adoption, and any age child. Paschkis’ interpretations in her … Continue reading →

Talking About Tough Issues: Criminal Activity/Birthparents in Prison and Incest

This is one of a series on talking about tough issues with your adopted children. For general principles of talking about tough topics, see the first blog in the series. Talking about criminal activity or a birthparent in prison: For young children: “When adults break an important law (rule) and it might be dangerous to others, they go to a big time-out place. Your birthmother will be there for many years. You couldn’t wait that long for parents to raise you, so you will be with us until you grow up—and we will love you even after that.” For an … Continue reading →

You’re Not My Real Mother!

I think most adopted kids will try to pull this line at some point. Adoptive parents must realize that, although at the moment it may be intended to hurt, it probably is not a reflection of a deep-seated belief. It’s simply one more thing kids can fling at you in the heat of the moment. In fact, some non-adopted kids have tried it too! Some adoptive parents report being devastated when they hear this from their beloved child. Another mother reported that she was surprised by how little upset she felt when her fourteen-year-old son said this. She was secure … Continue reading →

Book Review: We Wanted You

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We Wanted You, by Liz Rosenberg, is a wonderful addition to a child’s library, especially the library of a child who came to his or her family through adoption. The book is simple enough to be understood by a three-year-old, yet the beautiful illustrations by Peter Catalanotto will appeal to younger and older readers, and the message of love will be reassuring to adoptees of any age. The words and pictures interact uniquely to tell the story of Enrique. The pictures begin with the present and go back to the past, while the words tell the adoptive parents’ story from … Continue reading →

The Gift from Afar

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Prepare for a literary information dump. During my recent illness I wasn’t able to write clearly, but I did a lot of reading to distract myself—so you’ll be seeing a lot of book reviews in the next week or two. The Gift from Afar is an adoption fairy tale written by a Korean-American mother. She writes in the introduction that all children love the story of how they came to be, but notes that often adopted children don’t have stories of their birth. She uses the old folk theme of storks delivering babies to weave a story of a special … Continue reading →