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Getting Paid To Adopt?

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Many families who adopt special needs children through their state receive a monthly check even after the finalization. Some people become irritated when learning this. I’ve heard the argument, “I don’t get paid to raise my kid,” and frankly, I can understand the feelings behind such comments. There are many parents who give birth to special needs children and don’t get monthly support in the form of a check. As an adoptive parent I’ve struggled with receiving certain assistance for my children. We did not adopt our children as a charity; we didn’t need the money. We wanted to be … Continue reading →

Adopting the Second Time Around

Our first adoption brought us so much joy. It was our son who provided us with the honorary title of “Mom and Dad”. During that drawn out journey for our family, it was truly about helping us achieve our dream of parenthood. When we began to long for a second child, we noticed it felt much different than it did with our first child. This time around adoption wasn’t about making my husband and me parents; it was about making our son a big brother and growing our family. Unlike with our first son, there wasn’t the desperation or the … Continue reading →

The Family that Prays Together Stays Together

By just reading my title I know it appears to sum up a whole message. There is so much depth in this statement than what we might see. The importance of this message goes beyond the nice thought of a family coming together before the Lord. When my husband and I first started praying together at night, we’d been married about a year. I was a bit nervous about asking him to pray for our night and our current situations. I knew he didn’t grow up praying with anyone and might feel uncomfortable. To be honest, it was a bit … Continue reading →

Preparing for Your Home Study

Don’t panic! Though there are many things to do, there is no reason to become overly stressed about your home study. First, emotionally prepare yourself that home studies can take quite some time to complete. Keep in mind, if there are other adults living in your home, they too will likely have to complete parts of the home study process in order for your family to be approved. There are typically many steps to a home study, some of which may in include (in no particular order): Completed applications for adoption: In addition to being asked for basic information about … Continue reading →

Things I Wish I was Told about Adoption

I’m not only going to share the things that I wish I was told about adoption prior to doing it, but the things I’m glad I was told as well. Keep in mind this list pertains primarily to state adoptions: • Whether you give birth, or adopt, if you haven’t met the child prior, you really never know what you will get in regard to special needs. • The process of waiting and emotional ups and downs will better prepare you for the road ahead. • Get involved with a support group! Being in one ourselves, my husband and I … Continue reading →

Not the Acceptance that Was Expected

After the welcoming reception of Lisa and Ryan’s first daughter Cassie, these again proud parents expected the arrival of their new daughter Maxine to be met with the same excitement and welcome as their first. Many years prior to Cassie’s arrival Ryan’s father and step-mother (who herself was adopted), lost closeness with him due to circumstances around his parent’s divorce. There had been hard feelings as a result since. But their acceptance of Ryan and Lisa’s one year old daughter gave new hope for the uniting of the extended family. A couple years passed and things seemed to go well. … Continue reading →

The Long Awaited TPR

For foster parents hoping to adopt their foster child and parents hoping to adopt their child’s birth sibling in the state system, the waiting for termination of parental rights (TPR) of the birth parents can be an emotional journey. What may look like an open and shut case doesn’t always turn out to be that way. In most cases birth parents are given every opportunity to regain custody of their child. Sometimes it can look like a birth parent is not following case plan. The state and the judge might agree that TPR in inevitable based on the evidence, but … Continue reading →

The Kids through State Adoptions

Contrary to the stories, concerns and fears you might have read about online, most of the kids adopted through the state that I personally know about are genuinely well adjusted and happy. Many potential adoptive parents become scared off after reading an adoption forum site or watching television. Before becoming resistant to state adoption, there are a few things I’d like you to know: 1. Adoption forum sites typically have posts by parents seeking support and information rather than raving about their wonderful and beautiful children. In other words, people with happy and normal lives don’t always sit and talk … Continue reading →

To My Parents

Dear Mom and Dad, I’ve been writing some blogs on parenting and as I have, I realize who I owe credit to for instilling values in me. I don’t think any of us were perfect, but it’s very clear that you loved me and did your very best in raising me. Mom, I thank you for showing me what selflessness means. You put so many things in your life on hold for us kids. You had the option to abort me or place me in an adoptive home, but you chose to rise above and make it work. You faithfully … Continue reading →

Things to Consider When Seeking a Diagnosis for Your Child

Perhaps the most frustrating thing we’ve had to deal with regarding our special needs children, who were adopted, is getting them diagnosed so we can get them the help they need. Parents who have biological children often have trouble obtaining a diagnosis when they need it as well. The difference is that a biological parent often has a family medical history. Chances are too a person who has custody of their biological child is less likely to have abused illegal drugs during their pregnancy. In considering where our children’s concerning behaviors come from, there were some things we needed to … Continue reading →