How We Chose the Type of Adoption that was Right for Us

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

09 Jan 2007 03:06 AM

Last week I wrote on "Choosing the Type of Adoption that is Right for You". Today I'd like to share how we (my husband Charles and I) chose the type of adoption that was right for us.

Our biological son was a toddler. We wanted to adopt a child younger than he was. We knew that many of the children in the US child welfare system were older children. I also didn't think I could handle a legal-risk placement. Regarding domestic US infant adoptions, a couple of agencies wanted "proof of infertility", and we weren't infertile. One agency told us that in their experience, birthmothers for some reason were more likely to pick couples with no children. For me, the whole concept of preparing a portfolio that would entice a birthmother to choose us felt strange. We wanted to help a child, not wait in line for a child lots of others wanted, and this felt too much like applying for a job. My husband was a bit nervous about some of the sensational cases publicized in the media such as the "Baby Jessica" case of 1993, although I'd done enough research to feel comfortable with our state's laws. But to tell the truth, I wasn't sure how a birthparent would fit into our lives. All the agencies placing infants domestically seemed to be doing open adoption. Although we liked the idea of exchanging information, at the time birthparent contact seemed awkward to us. Now that I've heard more adoptive parents' stories, I think I could handle it. But this was then. We could afford international adoption, and we had already been blessed with one child, and so we felt that we should help a child who really needed us rather than one lots of other people wanted.

These were some of our reasons. However, there was another factor that wasn't exactly a "reason". I simply felt called to international adoption. I have always had a great interest in other countries and cultures, and always believed I'd have an international family some day. We investigated all our options, but international adoption just felt right.

See these related blogs:

Choosing the Type of Adoption that is Right for You

Types of Adoption Part One: Domestic Infant Adoption

Types of Adoption Part Two: Adoption From the Child Welfare System

Types of Adoption Part Three: International Adoption

Why We Chose International Adoption

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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Anna Glendenning (4234) 12 Jan 2007 12:34 AM

I am always interested in how other adoptive parents come to the decision they do about what method of adoption works best for them.

Thanks Pam, I look forward to reading more of your blogs.

Pam Connell (2658) 12 Jan 2007 02:30 AM

Thanks Anna. I've learned a lot by reading yours too (and Ed's and MJ's and others').