How Many Children Should You Adopt?

by Fatherofeight | More from this Blogger

24 Jan 2007 11:51 PM

I recently received a comment to one of my blogs from a family that was considering adopting a group of special needs children. That got me thinking about the process of determining how many children to adopt. This blog will hopefully shed some light to help.

We originally adopted four maternal brothers. That number grew to five when we had an unexpected visit from the stork. We have now informed the state that our family is complete.

First, I want to discuss the reasons to keep the number small. The most obvious reason is that damaged children will have more problems and will need more attention. My wife and I have made the observation many times that ______ would be easy to care for if he was an only child. A friend of ours had a housekeeper that would say that if you have lots of kids, you will have lots of problems.

Lots of problems translate into lots of driving to see doctors, dentists, psychologists, and phyciatrists. It makes it hard to focus on the whole group when one child is having a particularly bad time. At times, the most experienced, competent, energetic, and dedicated families will be overmatched by the problems that they are presented with.

On the other side of the ledger, I would recommend a large group of children, four or five, if you are called to do it. You must be certain that you are prepared to spend the next twenty or so years doing nothing but caring, praying, and fighting for your children. Nancy and I made the commitment to spend the rest of our lives doing just that.

I would not recommend a large group of special needs children to a single parent. There are always exceptions. There is a family in our community that has adopted twenty something children and I am told that they are doing well and planning for more.

One of the reasons that we chose to do it this way was that we had the opportunity to keep a sibling group together. That does not happen often in the adoption community. Our children are more secure and have adapted to being a part of our family more readily because they have their brothers with them on this journey.

My recommendation is that you go for a big family if you are certain, if you know for sure that you are committed to the task. Big commitments bestow big blessings.

Learn more about Fatherofeight

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger

Linda Hansen (1796) 25 Jan 2007 05:01 AM

When the boys first came to live with us, it seemed like our house had grown a lot. A year later, we got Dillon and God let us keep him for 14 great months. After he reunited with his bmom, the house seemed so much quieter with one boy gone. I pray a lot that God will see fit to let us have a larger house, more bedroooms, more bathrooms! when it happens, I want more kids! Artcraft

PATTI (580) 25 Jan 2007 07:55 AM

Dear Ed, You and Nancy have taken on a hard but very rewarding job. With God's help, your job will be exhilarating. Once again, praise you Lord Jesus. PATTI

Fatherofeight (2475) 25 Jan 2007 08:26 AM

Art, have faith, someone bought us a house, and I wasn't looking for it or even thinking that it could happen, it just did.

Thanks, Patti, you are always so encouraging.

VNorris (25) 25 Jan 2007 09:17 PM

Ed I am still praying about our sibling group. I just got a promotion so my hours have become longer. So, I will continue to pray for our children. I know they will come and God is able. Vernell

Fatherofeight (2475) 26 Jan 2007 08:04 AM

Vernell, all of us will be rooting for you and of course praying that this works out. I think that this verse is for you, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will set your path straight. Amen.