Search Results for: blog how do my adopted kids think about skin color

In Awe

A friend of mine told me about a girl that I knew nothing about the other day, but it really impacted me, and I’ve been thinking about her ever since. I haven’t read her book, or been a long-time reader of her blog like I’m sure many people have, but I am impressed by her selflessness. If the whole world could have her attitude and obvious trust in God in all things, then the world would definitely be a better place. Her blog is here. She is 23 years old. And, she has adopted 13 Ugandan girls. Yes, it blew … Continue reading →

We Thought We Covered All Bases

We are not the traditional looking family and that is great with us. When we adopted our kids we could have said we want kids who have the same color hair, skin tone, and eyes so they would have matched us but instead we said we don’t care about any of that only that they were healthy and needing a family. That is truthfully what I think is all that matters. When we started the adoption process we had asked friends who are African American if they thought our child, if we adopted an African American child, would get ostracized … Continue reading →

Skin Color Not Discussed In Our Family

About a year after we brought our kids into our family through adoption my niece who was 6 at the time pointed at our middle child and said “Aunt he sure keeps his tan a long time”. It never occurred to me that she did not realize that he was bi-racial but had strong African American features. If you did not know that his brother and sister were Caucasian and that they all had the same biological mother than you would look at him and see a beautiful black child. Ten years later thinking of that day when we explained … Continue reading →

What Kind of Child Would you Like?

So you finished the major part of the adoption application, now on to the hard questions. There is a section in the application asking what type of child you are looking for. I know this sounds like this would be an easy section but honestly it is definitely one of the hardest. The questions range from what age you are looking for, to will you accept a child with disabilities. You and your spouse should put aside some time and start thinking, praying and discussing what you are wanting. Some of the questions you should think about: Do you want … Continue reading →

Combatting Stereotypes in Children, Part Two

In recent blogs we’ve talked about whether economic pressures and anti-immigrant sentiment will have an effect on our transracially adopted children. I wrote one blog on how adults can explore our own feelings about diversity. The blog Combatting Racism in Children, Part One talked about how children form attitudes and the importance of creating a diverse environment for young children, including diversity in pictures and in dramatic play props such as dress-up clothes and food. This blog will talk about some books and films that encourage an understanding of other cultures and of immigrants to America. There are many more … Continue reading →

Adoption Books with Great Art: You Are Special, You Were Chosen

You Are Special; You Were Chosen is a sweet little book which grew out of the bedtime story that the author’s father read to her each night. Its soft, detailed colored pencil/pastel illustrations definitely qualify it for my Adoption Books with Great Art series. The lovely pictures show diverse children and families, including siblings of different races, which I really appreciate, as that is something I have a hard time finding. Books featuring a multiracial classroom are becoming common, as are books featuring families of color—but multiracial families are still difficult to find. I almost bought a book the other … Continue reading →

A New Normal

Many parents who adopt transracially deeply feel that looks shouldn’t matter. And in one sense they shouldn’t. But I’ve come to see that looks cause assumptions to be made. Assumptions that my daughter is lost, although she’s standing right next to me. (She’s Korean and I’m fair-skinned.) Assumptions that I’m her babysitter. Assumptions that she doesn’t speak English. Certain aspects of how one looks carry assumptions based on past experiences and emotions. Different people have different assumptions about who feels threatening and who feels comforting. The more we are around something, the more it becomes part of what we define … Continue reading →

Book Review: I’m Brown and My Sister Isn’t

Families are often advised to begin talking about adoption while a child is very young, even before he can understand the words, so that the child will grow up seeing adoption as a normal way for a family to form. Recent years have brought many children’s picture books on adoption, but it’s still a difficult topic to convey to toddlers and preschoolers. A book which speaks very simply about adoption and the diverse families it creates is I’m Brown and My Sister Isn’t, by Robbie O’Shea, who is herself a mother of two adopted children who have different skin colors. … Continue reading →

Mixed Feelings for a Child Member of the Majority Minority

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I recently wrote about Meg’s comment that she wanted to wear sunscreen because she didn’t like her skin getting darker. Today I showed my children the statistics from the website for If the World were a Village, after the book by geography teacher David Smith. The girls were incredibly thrilled to learn that they were among the majority of the world’s people. First I asked my older daughter, “Would you say more of the kids at school look like you or like Patrick?” She hesitated. “Like Patrick,” she said. I nodded. “But if you look at the whole world, more … Continue reading →

In the Majority

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I was with my daughter’s Girl Scout group at a paint-your-own-pottery place which the girls had earned a trip to through their cookie sales. I sat at a table with my two daughters, my older daughter’s best friend, and that friend’s older sister, who was helping. On several occasions, one kid would ask for a certain paint bottle to be passed to her. There was one color, light peachy-beige, for which the girls didn’t know the name. When they gestured for it, the teen helping them said “You want skin color.” On another occasion she asked, “do you want the … Continue reading →