Helping Family Understand Your Decision to Adopt

by Shoshanna Grey | More from this Blogger

One of the "big moments" when you start out in adoption is when you sit down with your extended family to tell them about your decision. For some adoptive parents, their extended family may have been involved in the decision from the beginning, for others, this will be the first time that these people have heard that the idea was even on the table.

It is important to be prepared for the adoption conversation whether you are still in the planning stages or if you are already in the process of seeking a child to adopt. Some family members will react positively and others may be very strongly against the idea.

Here are some things to consider as you prepare to help your family understand your desire to adopt:

Know Where You Stand Are you still talking about adoption or is this a definite thing for you? If you are still in the "talking" stage, then you may be more open to any concerns or objections of your family. However, if you are certain that this is something you want to do, then it is important that you have that established for yourself. For my husband and I, we did talk to some family members about our interest in adoption while we were still looking into it. There were other family members who we did not tell until it was a done deal - we already had a child whose adoption we were pursuing.

Be Prepared for Questions Your family will probably have a lot of questions about adoption. I'm not saying that you have to have the answers to all of them, but you should be prepared with a general knowledge of the adoption process. Also, be able to explain why this is important to you and why you want to do it.

Give Them Time Remember that you didn't just wake up one day and decide to adopt. You had questions and concerns and you probably spent a long time making the decision. Be sure to give your family that same time to process the idea of adoption. Some family members may never have even thought about adoption and so this may be a new idea for them. Others may have heard a lot of the stereotypes about adopted children or perhaps they even know someone whose adoption did not turn out well. While it is hard to be patient with your relatives when all you really want to hear is "Good for you!", make sure that you do give them the time that they need to process your decision and to resolve their own concerns.

Learn more about Shoshanna Grey

Shoshanna Grey has worked as an occupational social worker, teacher, child care provider, customer service reqpresentative, college recruiter and several other positions over the years.

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