Search Results for: blog helping children with a dual reality of birthdays

More Reassuring Books for Adopted Children

Some time ago I published a blog on Reassuring Your Adopted Child. This blog shares some more books with reassuring messages for adopted children—and for all children. Max Lucado, author of spiritual books for both adults and children, has two books which I believe will be helpful. The first book is Just in Case You Ever Wonder. The illustrations by Toni Goffe begin with a young infant, but the text could be for either birth or adoption: “The same hands that made the stars made you.” “God made you like no one else.” “And since you were so special , … Continue reading →

Easter Children

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“Am I really not supposed to be here?” Adopted adults have written about struggling with identity issues. I’m not sure, but I wonder if that question was ever at the heart of those issues. I remember teaching Sunday School and having several children of divorced or single parents in the class. The curriculum went on and on about how children were to be created in a loving, selfless and endless union of a married man and woman. I totally agree with that ideal. But I remember worrying that children whose parents were not together, or who were conceived out of … Continue reading →

Helping Children with a Dual Reality of Birthdays

Birthdays are a time of great joy for children, and for families as they celebrate the gift of their child. Yet some adopted persons report feelings of sadness around their birthdays. Persons who were adopted must deal with the dual reality that on their birth date, something joyous happened certainly, but often something sad happened as well. Perhaps they were born into sad circumstances, or their birth was the occasion for their permanent separation from their birthmother. Other children hear, nearly every birthday, details surrounding their birth, how their parents couldn’t wait for it, how wanted they were. But around … Continue reading →

Anniversary Celebrations in Adoptive Families

My last blog talked about rituals and celebrations for adoptive families. Of course, adoptive families celebrate the normal family occasions such as birthdays. While these absolutely should be celebrated, sometimes an adoptive child may also feel sadness on their birthday, as they realize that it is the anniversary not only of their birth, but of that their birthparents decided not to parent them. (I have written a blog that talks about helping a child deal with mixed feelings surrounding birthdays.) Many adoptive parents also celebrate “Gotcha Day” on the anniversary of the day they received the child. Some parents try … Continue reading →

You Know They’re Getting Older When…The Birthday Changes

My eldest daughter just turned seventeen. In many ways, it was a typical birthday at our house. She got to decide what she wanted to do and she opted to NOT have a party and instead spend the weekend doing various things with her friends. She did have a little birthday dinner with her dad and his partner, as well as the paternal grandparents. Every year and every birthday, I give my kids a choice of what they want for a birthday cake—sometimes it is a request for something from the bakery or an ice cream cake, but most often … Continue reading →

Week in Review Jan. 22-28

Week in Review Jan. 22-28 This week the adoption blog has moved from personal stories,to practical tips, to questions about our society, and back again. Monday, January 22 Services Provided for Former Foster Children Ed tells us that many foster care children age out of the system at age 18, suddenly homeless without means of support. He shares a model of a center set up in Texas to provide them with counseling and referrals and suggests that other states look into this. He also notes that, with all the material needs foster children have, the number-one request many have at … Continue reading →