Raising an Adopted Child: Part #1

by Anna Glendenning | More from this Blogger

03 Feb 2006 01:19 PM

My little boy Jeremiah.

Parenting in general can be stressful. As parents we often get different advice and information from grandparents, doctors and teachers. It can be confusing enough to just be an ordinary mom and dad, but add to this the fact we are adoptive parents and our questions and concerns are compounded. This series of blog entries will be entitled: Raising an Adopted Child, and will cover some of the research and information known about children who grow up adopted.

Research shows that all children have similar levels of understanding about adoption at roughly the same age whether or not they were adopted, (Rutgers University, Brodzinsky). Children tend to develop their understanding from their social environment instead of talking with their parent's. Research has also found that a child's knowledge and understanding of adoption changes in predictable ways as they grow up.

As children grow up they learn about family. Children learn who the parents and siblings are and how everyone ended up being a family in the same house. Some families are blended with step parents, step siblings, half siblings and some have people who were adopted.

In our house we have four children the oldest are my husbands step children. The youngest were adopted. In our family it hasn't really mattered because our attitude is that no matter how we came together we are the family who lives in this house together.

My older children have an adopted father who recently reunited with his biological family. I have several cousins who were adopted and several family members who have adopted babies or children. Our family is a patch work quilt of people who love each other and for us adoption is ordinary.

As a child grows and begins to learn about reproduction and birth, social relationships, values, and legal and social institutions their understanding develops and changes. This is why it is often said, "Adoption is a lifelong process."

An adopted child may need to hear their adoption story retold repeatedly as they grow up and process the story during different stages of life. As our adopted child hears the story of their adoption told they will focus on different aspects of it at different developmental stages.

This series of blogs is called "Raising an Adopted Child" and will address some of the predictable ways research has found a child's knowledge and understating of adoption changes. With research information about the various developmental stages:

• Part #2 Newborns
• Part #3 Pre School Years
• Part #4 Ages 6-10 Loss and Differences
• Part #5 Ages 8-12 Grieving and Self-Esteem
• Part #6 Adolescence Abstract Thinking
• Part #7 Adolescence Critical Thinking
• Part #8 Independence.

Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms: A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z

For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.

Learn more about Anna Glendenning

Anna Glendenning is a mother of four. Two biological children grown and out of college, and two siblings and adopted together in 2003. Anna's Personal Website http://www.adoptiveparentsnetwork.

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