Can We Ever Just Appear Without Being Explained?

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

18 Dec 2006 10:34 PM

How should books and media portray adopted kids and their families? One thing I would like to see is kids and parents who don't look alike depicted in books that aren't really about adoption at all. Our kids will feel more different than ever if every time they are mentioned they are something odd enough to need explanation. What about just having a children's picture book about two kids on a playdate, with one child shown as Chinese and her mother as White? What about a middle-grade novel in which a boy says he can't come over Saturday because his birthmother is visiting from out of state that weekend? (Okay, that last one might need a bit of explanation.)

I tried to suggest this concept once to a children's book illustrator I met at conference. "It's up to the editors whether I get a book about adoption," she replied. "No, actually," I tried to explain, "just show kids who look different from their parents when it's not the point of the story. As if it were normal."

Trust me, authors have written children's books and illustrators have faithfully represented every quality the writer specified in the characters...except for drawing the family members as a family of frogs. Are illustrators really afraid to make the kids look different from the parents if the author didn't expressly say they were, but they're not afraid of depicting a whole family as frogs if the author didn't expressly state that they were people?

How hard is it to find images that reflect our kids' reality? My mother, an elementary school teacher, said, "Oh, it can't be hard to find diverse children's books nowadays." It is easy to find books featuring Asian children and families, I told her. It is still not easy to find books featuring multiracial families.

There was a magazine advertisement for a clothing retailer a few years ago which showed a family of two (White) parents and their four children, one of whom was Asian. There was a TV ad showing a White father administering children's cold medicine to an Asian child. Maybe people will glance twice. But chances are they will, after a minute, realize that either interracial marriage or adoption is being portrayed. Maybe they will think to themselves, "hm, that really is common nowadays after all."

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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SnapshotJML (605) 20 Dec 2006 03:12 PM

I don't see why we shouldn't acknowledge it. It is different. Different cultures, family styles, appearances. I know you are saying that it would be nice if people would just include adopted families in stories that aren't about adopted families, but an adopted family is definately something to acknowlede. It shouldn't be turned into the pink elephant in the corner nor should it become so familiar that people don't appreciate that it takes hard work, love, patience, acceptance and time beyond to create an adopted family vs. a biological family. Even in society today, many people don't understand adopted families and their, style, culture and appearance. I think it is important to continue to acknowledge these differences and explain them to raise awareness and acceptance before we being assuming that someone will be able to look at a picture of an adoptive family and understand.

Pam Connell (2658) 22 Dec 2006 03:18 AM

Dear Snapshot,

I think you're absolutely right that we should acknowledge we're adoptive families and that we have differences, and educate others about the issues adoptive families face. There are a few good books for children which specifically deal with the issue of explaining adoption. (I'll try to get to those in a blog soon!)

I guess I'm just saying that I personally would like to see adoptive families, in addition to being featured in stories about adoption, also to be represented in images of "regular families". We often now see children of different races pictured in books that have nothing to do with race. Why not see some picture books showing more multiracial families?

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear more from you soon!