Book Review: Why Was I Adopted?

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

10 Dec 2008 05:52 PM

Carole Livingston's Why Was I Adopted? Is a book I almost didn't read because its copyright date is 1978. Lots of things about adoption have changed in the last thirty years. But I'm glad I did read Livingston's book (and end up buying it for my kids), attracted in part by the vibrant cartoon illustrations by Arthur Robins.

The book has a straightforward tone which I like. It talks about how being adopted is special, but so are some other differences; that being chosen by your parents doesn't mean they'll never get angry with you or vice versa; and that both parties are mutually lucky to have each other. Some key points in the book demonstrate the "serious but normal" tone:

Each person is totally unique, but each had a mother and a father.

"That mother and father gave you a very special gift. It's so special that no one else can ever give it to you and so special that even they can give it to you only once. They gave you the gift of life...and of your birthday. Birthdays are fun, aren't they?

"Now we come to the serious part. Serious doesn't mean unhappy. It just means important. The thing is that sometimes something may happen so that the family you began with is not the same as the family you have now."

The book goes on to say that there are so many different reasons they can't be listed, but a couple of possibilities are that the birthparents died, or were still too young to know how to give you the care and attention you'd need. "Who'd want to be brought up by a couple of children?"

The book mentions that sometimes people are adopted by a relative if their birthparents couldn't take care of them, and that some children come from other countries where there have been bad problems such as war or extreme poverty.

"You became part of your family in a different way than just being born into it...Actually, each adoption is different and each child is adopted in a different way...your parents can tell you exactly how and why they wanted a child and happened to adopt you."

Regarding adoptive parents' reasons for adopting, the book says that sometimes adoptive parents have children born to them but would like more kids and would like to find kids who need parents, while some adoptive parents can't have a baby born to them and want children very badly. Sometimes just one person adopts a child, and that makes a family to, the book explains. (Ilustration of father in apron and chef's hat scrubbing tot's hair in the tub while black smoke wafts in, presumably from the kitchen.)

What adoptive parents have in common is wanting children very, very much.

"Your parents wanted you very, very much..Not a bad choice! They must be pretty smart!"

Sometimes doctors or lawyers help match babies to be adopted with parents who want to adopt. Sometimes agencies work to match families and children. These agencies try very hard to make sure parents understand what it means to adopt and raise a child forever-the hard parts as well as the fun parts. (Humorous cartoon illustration of woman holding screaming twins.)

The book also addresses whether parents love non-adopted kids more than adopted kids, how the law says adoptive families are parents and children forever (so birthparents can't ever take children back--and children and adoptive parents are stuck with each other even at times when they may wish for another family!).

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger