I recently reviewed Jana Wolff’s Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. My last two blogs share some of My Own Secret Thoughts as we began the adoption process and My Secret Suspicions while we were out of the country adopting. When we considered adopting, I had some fears about life after adoption as well. Some of these are embarrassing to admit. I worried a bit about whether it would be hard for me to find her in a large group of Korean kids, such as at culture camp. My siblings and I each have a different hair color, so it … Continue reading →

In my last blog, I shared some fears I had as I began the adoption process. Here, I will share some fears I had about the overseas agency and overseas adoption process in general. These fears came from stories that circulate about foreign officials or adoption workers telling adoptive parents what they want to hear, not tell all the fees, etc. I had no reason to fear our agency—except for room and board, we paid all our fees to the American agency, who paid the Korean adoption agency. Nevertheless, the rumors lingered. I was secretly afraid that unexpected delays would … Continue reading →

I’ve recently reviewed Jana Wolff’s memoir, Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother. I’ve also shared my own impressions and experiences regarding the issues she raises in two of my blogs: here and here . But I promised myself that rather than just react to Wolff’s experiences and feelings and comment on how mine were the same or different, I would take the time to recall and bring into the sunlight other thoughts I did have during the process of deciding when, how, from where and who to adopt—and through the process of actually doing it. Assumptions and feelings just below … Continue reading →

My last blog was a review of Jana Wolff’s memoir Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. It led me to reflect: did I relate to her thoughts as she went through the adoption process? Did I have other secret thoughts? I do sometimes wonder how Wolff’s now-teenage son feels about this book. I think that, although Wolff shares her conflicting, not-so-socially-correct thoughts like we all have from time to time, her love of her son and her appreciation for his birthmother come through. Her son may well value this record of his mother’s experience. Still, adoptive parents now are advised … Continue reading →