Book Review: Love, Adoption, and Brownies with Sprinkles

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

16 Sep 2009 04:34 PM

Sometimes a book comes along that manages to write about a single experience, but one that is so ubiquitous that we think, "Why didn't anyone write a book like this before?" Star of the Week: a Story of Love, Adoption, and Brownies with Sprinkles is based on the authors' own daughter. She has some unique circumstances not shared by her classmates, but the setting is one almost all kids in early school-age can relate to.

I n preschool, kindergarten and early elementary school, a frequent occurrence is for each student to be assigned a week to be the "Star". They make a poster about themselves and present it to the class. Depending on the school, sometimes this is the week the child does other minor but honorary tasks such as feeding the fish or leading the line to the playground. Sometimes that child may be invited to bring "show-and-tell" items that relate to their history and interests. The presentation of the poster, however, is usually the main event. The child is asked to bring pictures of family, hobbies, favorite places and activities. The posters often contain sentences for the children to complete about themselves, such as "My favorite thing to do is..." and "When I grow up I want to..."

Often children are asked to bring a baby picture, which itself can be problematic for kids who don't have a baby picture or whose baby pictures show them in an orphanage or with a different family.

(Last week I wrote a "back-to-school" blog about questions and projects encountered at school that may make some adopted kids uncomfortable.)

In this book, kindergartener Cassidy-Li chooses photos for her poster including: a picture of herself with her parents when they came to China to get her, pictures of her friends, piano lessons, soccer games, Chinese school, grandparents and cousin. She also chooses a photo of her Chinese "cousins", girls who were adopted at the same time she was. Their parents had all met at the hotel in China and the families have continued to have annual reunions. (As I mentioned in my review of The White Swan Express, agencies facilitating adoptions from China have several families travel together. These families spend two or three weeks in China together with their babies, and often stay in touch years later.)

Cassidy-Li wishes she had a photo of her birthparents for her poster. She misses her birthparents a lot, and wonders what they look like and where they live, why they couldn't keep her and whether they miss her. Her parents say that their family loves her birth parents very much even though they will never know them.

Cassidy-Li ultimately decides to draw a picture of her birthparents for her poster. Although excited to share her poster, the night before she wonders if classmates will ask about her adoption and her birthparents. Her parents say she can tell them it's private if she wants to. The class seems to enjoy her presentation and doesn't ask intrusive questions. Cassidy-Li is happy with her poster, and with the brownies she has made for the class.

My kids so far never have asked about putting their birthparents on posters like this. They have enjoyed sharing pictures of themselves in their fancy Korean dresses, and have mentioned matter-of-factly that they were born in Korea and adopted by us. It remains to be seen whether our girls wonder about their birthparents often and hesitate to tell us, or whether they, like us, see no need to get into it. We do have some basic information that we have shared with me, and I try to mention them every so often to see if they pick up on it, so they'll know it's not a taboo subject. While some older adoptees felt they couldn't discuss it with their parents, I think it's possible to talk too much about it with young children.

This book keeps the focus on Cassidy-Li's life and school experience, while providing an entrée to talking about birth parents if your child wants to pursue it.

Darlene Friedman is a writer and editor, and her husband Roger Roth writes and illustrates children's books. This book is their first collaboration.

Please see these related blogs:

I Survived the First Grade Today

Lucy's Family Tree

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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