Babies Produced by the Drug Culture

by Fatherofeight | More from this Blogger

09 Mar 2007 08:00 AM

At the close of a recent blog about child abuse, I was asked an interesting question. Why do women, who do not want to take care of their children, keep having them? I am by no means an expert on a question like this, but I can make some comments based upon what I have seen and heard.

The birth mother of our five adopted children had seven children in ten years. I have not seen her in some time so she may have had more. All of the children that I know of have been taken away from her and are either adopted or in group homes. She is totally unable to take care of a child of any age. Actually, she does a really lousy job of taking care of herself.

She has been on the street since she was about fifteen and by any measure, her life has been tragic. The only thing that she has ever accomplished in her life was birthing babies. Each time that she gets pregnant, she thinks that this time she will marry and settle down. There are drug addicted women in Houston who have had fifteen or more damaged, medically fragile children. It is a sad scenario which repeats itself over and over again.

When women on the street start showing, they are treated better by the various social services. Shelters will take them in and tolerate their eccentricities when they are pregnant. It's really the only time in their lives when people are nice to them.

In the street community, birth control is unheard of. There are no precautions regarding unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or the HIV virus. Apparently, not using condoms is a macho thing for the men. When I was doing volunteer work in the Texas prisons, I heard a lot of boasting about how many women each of them was able to impregnate the last time they were out on parole.

The lives of the women are much too disorganized for them to be able to practice any kind of birth control. Their lives are consumed with dangerous drug usage and equally dangerous frequent sexual misconduct. To make matters worse, the environment in which all this takes place is very violent. It is a wonder that any of these people live for very long.

Many of the babies, who are born in these conditions, grow up and repeat the cycle. Our birth mother was abused as a child, taken into the foster system, and adopted. She ran away from her adoptive home in her early teens and turned to the street.

As for the babies, the ones who survive, there is little hope. Few make it out of the hole that has been dug for them on their own. I have concluded that the only real way out is for a child to be adopted and given the nurture and care necessary to heal. I pray for more people who are willing to step up and give a child a chance to survive and thrive.

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AKAMyAlias (242) 05 Mar 2007 07:41 PM

Bless you for giving those boys a future.

Fatherofeight (2475) 09 Mar 2007 03:47 PM

Thanks, AKA, we are the ones being blessed.

Traci Anderson (970) 09 Mar 2007 11:37 PM

Great article again, Ed!

I worked with a similar type of woman when I was a social worker. Each time we would take a baby from her, she would have another one. (She actually gave birth in her own home to prevent us from finding out) - thankfully...we always did!

It is so frustrating but I am thankful for people like you who are willing to take the risks of adopting drug-exposed babies!

Fatherofeight (2475) 10 Mar 2007 01:06 PM

Thanks, Traci, I don't know what can be done either. There are not enough families to take these children at this time. That breaks my heart.

VNorris (25) 25 Apr 2007 02:32 PM

Ed where are you? I wanted you to know my husband and I are picking up our children this weekend April 27. We got 2 boys brothers.

Vernell

Pam Connell (2658) 29 Apr 2007 05:26 PM

Vernell I am so excited for you! Ed stopped writing blogs for us in mid-March but I know if he reads this he'll be thrilled! Let us know how things go for you! Although my own experience is in international adoption I hope some things will be relevant to you, and we do have frequent guest blogs from Anna and Melissa who both adopted through the foster care system.

Gina is traveling to pick up her daughter this week also--what a week! Congratulations!