Search Results for: blog attachment parenting house rules

Changing Rules and Expectations–Expect Initial Resistance

When there is a problem with your child that needs addressing, or a phase that pops up that you need to deal with as a parent, it may seem like just figuring out what to do is the hard part. I think, however, that the hardest part is those first few days of balking and resistance that come from the child! Just because you have come up with a grand and logical solution, doesn’t mean that the child will be thrilled to welcome the limits and boundaries. As a parent, you should expect that the first couple days will be … Continue reading →

Take Advantage When Rules Matter

I have made no secret about the fact that my life is now filled with teenagers and teenagers are not particularly interested in following rules, regulations, or any one else’s expectations. In fact, one of the main jobs of the teenager is to rebel, question, and experiment in order to find his or her own way in the world. BUT, for younger children that is not necessarily the case. There is a wonderful window of time in the early elementary years, when many children are fascinated and consumed by rules and regulations. For parents, this can be a time to … Continue reading →

Rules or Guidelines?

By nature, I have never been someone who was particularly fond of rules. This presented a bit of a challenge for me when I became a parent. While I certainly am not the freewheeling, hip parent I imagined (or promised, rather) I would be when I was 15 or 16—I still am not someone who needs and insists on a lot of hard and fast rules. Just using the word hasn’t come easily. Instead, I have tended to be a parent who leaned toward “guidelines”… Many families are not only comfortable with “House Rules,” but they are also downright good … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-More Time.

In the last Blog, we talked about Attachment Parenting and understanding the concept that Time plays when adopting an older child. Time in terms of days weeks, months and years. I have written about family traditions, making memories and creating understanding about house rules and all of those parenting tools require the other kind of time. This is the undivided, full and complete attention kind of time. Ordinary families do spend a lot of time when a new baby is born, just caring for the basic needs of the baby. We aren’t surprised when a new parent complains about being … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-House Rules.

Families fostering or adopting older children are usually well trained with ideas on making transition and family living less stressful for everyone. One very important tool adoptive parents of older children are encouraged to use is some kind of “House Rules” system. It’s helpful for everyone involved to understand what the expectations are from the start. Most families are encouraged to put the rules down in writing, either a poster or a contract depending on the age of the child. House Rules give adoptive parents the chance to let a child know what happens in their Home. In my training, … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-Routine

It’s difficult to argue with all of the evidence indicating people live less stressful lives when they have a routine. It might be a hectic routine, but having some predictable plan takes away the element of surprise. Some people do enjoy a more spontaneous lifestyle and that’s fine when they are in control of their lives and adults. Most children do very well when they live in a home with a well-established routine. Knowing when and where meals are eaten and having some kind of a mealtime ritual provides a sense of belonging to something bigger then just who we … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parents True Goals With House Rules.

If you’re the adoptive parent of a child who was placed at an older age, attachment issues and disorders may be a part of your family experience. In some future Blogs, I will talk about how incentives, token rewards and charts usually don’t work well with children who have serious attachment disorders. House Rules on the other hand need to be clear, consistent and visual even for an child with an attachment disorder. If adoptive parents followed their training advice and worked, hard for a healthy transition then accepting an older child placement should have started with some kind of … Continue reading →

Moving Day

As much as I hate moving, I’m pretty sure my baby hates it more. My husband and I believe in attachment parenting, so she’s spent most of her life in some sort of sling or wrap. She likes it, we like it, and everyone is happy. However, we’re moving in less than a week, and when there’s an apartment to pack up, the rules change. When I’m moving heavy boxes and lifting things off of high shelves, I don’t feel safe having her in tow. For that reason, she’s been spending a lot of time entertaining herself. She’s very good … Continue reading →

They Don’t Have to Love You Back

My friend, a teacher, told me that one of her co-workers always says that she became a teacher because she wanted to be loved. So what’s wrong with that, you ask? Well, it’s backwards. Being loved is a great feeling. And when choosing a career, it is okay to think about what satisfies you emotionally. However, you can’t expect to always get it. Everyone in the social service professions—ministers, doctors, social workers, teachers, counselors—must realize that they are there to serve, not to be liked. This teacher’s statement may appear innocent. However, she was also known for sending students to … Continue reading →

Building Our Foundation

Hello All. I am Linda Hansen, also known as Artcraft. I am a new blogger here and I’m excited about beginning my new journey with families.com. I will be blogging on special needs parenting. My husband and I are permanent custodial guardians to biological brothers, ages eleven and fourteen. Our fourteen year old has been diagnosed with ADHD, Alcohol Fetal Syndrome, learning disabilities, and impulse/reaction disorder. Our younger child has Attachment Disorder and emotional issues stemming from his past environment of parental neglect. We have worked hard to learn all we can about the necessary care for children with special … Continue reading →