April Fools: Three Things You Thought You Knew About Adoption

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

01 Apr 2009 04:43 PM

There are some things that "everybody knows" about adoption. This "knowledge" is so well-known, of course, that facts and first-person testimonies, even the evidence of one's own eyes, apparently aren't effective.

One couple was showing off their new baby, whom they had adopted at birth here in the U.S., at at a large family-and-friends picnic last summer.

When the new parents told the story of their recent adoption, another guest asserted "Well-Known Fact Number One" confidently:

"That's impossible. There are no babies to adopt in the United States."

April Fools! The truth: In the U.S., in-country adoptions outnumbered international adoptions last year.

I would have offered to let the guest change the imaginary baby's imaginary diaper. "Well-Known Fact" Number Two: Only the rich can afford to adopt. April Fools! The truth: Adoption from the child welfare system is free. There are babies available through state adoption as well. For domestic newborn and international adoptions, the average cost of adoption in 2007 was between 20 and 30 thousand dollars. This figure represents the salaries of caseworkers, attorneys, and child care as well as passport and visa fees, background checks, photocopying and court fees, and often either a contribution to the orphanage (in international adoptions) or to the birth mother's medical expenses (if a U.S. newborn adoption). That's steep-but no one thinks it odd to spend that much to acquire a car.

"Well-Known Fact" Number Three: The U.S. is the only country willing to adopt children from other countries.

April Fools! The Truth: Citizens in Denmark, Sweden, the Netherlands, Canada, Australia, Mexico and many other countries adopt children from other lands. The Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries, especially, have significant numbers of children from Korea and China.

(The Truth, Part Two: American children are being adopted in other countries- because there aren't enough adoptive parents willing or able to parent African-American children.)

Please see these related blogs: Top Adoption Myths

Top Ten Adoption Myths, Part Two:

Debunking Adoption Myths: Myth #1 - Birthmother Changes her Mind after the Adoption is Finalized

Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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centraloregonmom (295) 01 Apr 2009 09:54 PM

A quick addition to your "#2" point... many companies also offer adoption assistance to qualified employees. I worked for such a company during our adoption... I didn't need to utilize the subsidy as our fees were refunded after finalization since it was a state adoption from the foster care system. But, had it been a private or international adoption, I think it was something like $4k we could have been reimbursed with proof of expenses and other documentation. There are also certain tax credits out there for some expenses as well. I've always tried to point out to people that finances should never stop a good family from adopting!

gina00 (680) 01 Apr 2009 11:11 PM

Hi Pam :) Great blog! This new format of families.com is REALLY hard to read!!! Is there any way they could change it back, or make it more reader-friendly? (larger fonts, easier access to the other blogs, etc??????