Adoptive Parents Need Rest

by Fatherofeight | More from this Blogger

18 Dec 2006 03:36 PM

The adoption community uses a term that describes a brief rest from duty for adoptive parents. Respite is defined as a short time of relief from a difficult assignment. It is absolutely necessary for adoptive parents to occasionally be able to take it easy for a while.

Our first respite weekend came as a surprise. As a Christmas present, our grown children arranged for us to have a Saturday night at the finest hotel in Galveston. They stayed with our crew and paid for a meal at a fine restaurant.

It's about a two hour drive down there from our house. It was like old times, we didn't have a care in the world (at least for the moment) and we could just enjoy each other. We were so excited as we pulled up in front of the hotel.

The rooms at this hotel are very nice. About three o'clock that afternoon, we unpacked and sat down to figure out what we would do first. Three hours later, we woke up from unplanned naps. We had been sound asleep sitting across from each other in easy chairs. It was already dark. We had no idea how tired we were.

We had dinner and went to a movie. This sounds bizarre, considering this was our 24 hours off duty. We saw "Cheaper by the Dozen". For those of you not familiar with the movie, it's a comedy about a family with twelve children. Everyone else in the theater was laughing out loud. We were both doing a poor job of hiding our tears.

We were having a good time and getting rest that we desperately needed. We were in Galveston physically, but our hearts and minds were with our little boys. We did sleep until check-out time the next morning.

This trip helped us understand the concept of respite for adoptive parents. No matter how committed you are, you must rest and recharge your batteries.

Texas offers post-adoptive services to families that have adopted children out of the foster system. We now take one 24 hour period per month away from our home. We have a qualified care taker who moves her family into our house and keeps our little guys. The state reimburses us for her fee.

We now plan our trips better than we did the first one. We do not spend the whole time sleeping. By getting away occasionally, we are better and stronger parents. Everyone involved benefits from that. I must thank our grown children who had watched us burning the candle at both ends and rescued us. We have learned the lesson.

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amendkr (5) 19 Dec 2006 06:03 AM

Ed & Nancy I applaud your resolve. I'm not an expert or even a studied novice in your situation but I'm sure that there are other adoptive parents in the same situation. Knowing that you need time to re-energize from the day-to-day interaction with children lets me know as a friend to some adoptive parents i should step up and help them by offering to care for their children from time to time. Thanks for the reminder of how all of us can help.

Melissa J (13710) 19 Dec 2006 09:20 AM

Great blog Ed!

PATTI (580) 19 Dec 2006 11:55 AM

Ed, this is great. When you can rest, do it well. PATTI

Fatherofeight (2475) 19 Dec 2006 03:15 PM

Amend, that sounds great. That is really good feedback.

Fatherofeight (2475) 19 Dec 2006 03:16 PM

Thanks, MJ, I know you can relate.

Fatherofeight (2475) 19 Dec 2006 03:17 PM

Thanks, Patti, we will try. I appreciate you following my blogs.

Linda Hansen (1796) 19 Dec 2006 06:15 PM

Ed, I can so relate. We talk about doing it, but never do. We have no family close by and although the boys are older, because of their issues, we would not leave them alone. Galveston is my hometown, I would love to spend a night down there. Paul and I used to go once a yr. I got a free condo night from my emp. and we would go out to dinner, Moody Gardens, stroll the seawall and just relax. What a treat! Glad you got away. Artcraft

Fatherofeight (2475) 19 Dec 2006 08:57 PM

Art, we all need a little refreshing. I would encourage you to not resign yourself to never ever getting away for a little trip with your husband. We were lucky to find someone that was qualified and who knew our boys. I hope you can do the same.