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Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6

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I must admit that I never thought that I would be writing that this blog is the sixth in the series that discusses the desirable traits that a person should have that is thinking of adopting a special needs child. The person should have endurance, or staying power, and be willing to be persistent in getting the job done properly. I am going to focus on the challenges of taking our five boys on a trip to illustrate my points. Our oldest grown son and his family live in San Antonio which is about a four hour drive away from … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 5

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This blog is number five in my series discussing the ideal traits that an adoptive parent will have to successfully adopt a special needs child. The individual will have compassion and sensitivity for the inconsistent emotions and sentiments of their adopted child. Sometimes an adopted child will say things that do not make sense from your perspective. Our oldest is the only one of our five boys who even knew their birth mother. The lady who was taking care of them when the state took custody of them was telling him that she was their mother and Lola was merely … Continue reading →

Birth Parents (Part 7) Healing

Birthparents will never forget the baby they placed for adoption. Forgetting isn’t the goal but it’s important for birth mothers and birth fathers to adapt to the new circumstances and come to terms with any regret. When birth parents are able to accept their lives it’s possible to gain a feeling of control, and move forward with whatever else life has in store for them. Birth mothers and birth fathers who are able to openly share feelings with themselves and others may find it to be helpful while moving through the stages of grief and reaching some resolution. Some of … Continue reading →

The Fantasy Child (Part 5)

Adopting an older child is differet than giving birth or adopting a newborn. Everyone involved in the creation of the new family has had time to daydream and think about their personal expectations. But, what can be done to help an adoptive family avoid the disappointment of things not living up to their expectations? Transition and becoming a new family is hard for everyone involved. But, parents have to be parents and take charge of the things they can control. As adults we can’t let our daydreams and imagination get in the way. It is exciting to dream but, we … Continue reading →

What is Medi-Cal?

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Medi-Cal has been in existence since 1966. It is part of the Medicaid program of the State of California, and it’s funding comes from both the State and Federal Government. This is a kind of government run health insurance program that is designed for low income individuals, disabled individuals, and people with specific kinds of diseases. To qualify for Medi-Cal, you must already be enrolled in one of the following programs: SSI/SSP: SSI is Social Security, SSP is State Supplementary Payment. Both are run through the Social Security Administration CalWorks (AFDC): This is a government program designed to give temporary … Continue reading →

Out to Eat with All the Boys

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It’s very hard for a family with five boys ages two through eight to go out to eat. We have been able to go to Luby’s, but that is when Nancy and I are both feeling very energetic and patient. Little things like having the trays carried to the table by cafeteria staff are a given. The bright side is that with the children’s plate going for $2.99, we can get out cheaper than at a fast food place. Two years ago in a weak moment, we decided that it was time to actually try to go out to dinner. … Continue reading →

Both Spouses Have to Be Committed

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I have written a number of blogs that describe the traits that a couple might want to have in order to adopt a special needs child. It is also necessary that both of you are willing to dedicate your lives to adopting the child. I am specifically focusing on the concept that both partners need to completely “buy in” to the commitment. First of all, I in no way mean to imply that a single person should not adopt. It will take even more dedication and the work will be even harder. There are many single people who have successfully … Continue reading →

Be a Servant

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There is a commercial airing on television in many markets that encourages the viewer to adopt a child. It shows a less than perfect Dad being a father to his son. The point of the ad is that none of us are anywhere near perfect, and if we were nearly perfect, we would not be all of the time. A child that is desperate for a home and family does not need to live in a mansion or have parents that have advanced degrees in adolescent psychology. The child needs the best home and the best parents that are available. … Continue reading →

Week in Review for Jan. 14-21

We really appreciate all of our readers who’ve helped us get this year off to a great start! Here’s a recap of blogs from Sunday January 14 through Sunday January 21. Sunday, January 14 Ed shared his success story of finding the right school for his children in Our New School. Anna continued her poignant letter to her daughter in Makala, We Decided We Wanted to Adopt You and Your Brother. I (Pam) did a Book Review: Inside Transracial Adoption. This book is one-half information on identity formation and complex issues, but one-half fascinating glimpses into real experiences of transracial … Continue reading →