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Both Spouses Have to Be Committed

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I have written a number of blogs that describe the traits that a couple might want to have in order to adopt a special needs child. It is also necessary that both of you are willing to dedicate your lives to adopting the child. I am specifically focusing on the concept that both partners need to completely “buy in” to the commitment. First of all, I in no way mean to imply that a single person should not adopt. It will take even more dedication and the work will be even harder. There are many single people who have successfully … Continue reading →

The Impact of Exposure to Cocaine in the Womb

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A few years ago, there was a lot of information in the media concerning the damage that women who habitually use crack cocaine were causing to the children born to them. Today, there is a lot of evidence that the damage was not as profound as some medical researchers predicted it would be. This is an important subject to me because I have adopted five children who had the misfortune to spend nine months in the womb of a crack addict. I do not pretend to be an expert on this subject. I am forced to rely on the information … Continue reading →

Week in Review for Jan. 14-21

We really appreciate all of our readers who’ve helped us get this year off to a great start! Here’s a recap of blogs from Sunday January 14 through Sunday January 21. Sunday, January 14 Ed shared his success story of finding the right school for his children in Our New School. Anna continued her poignant letter to her daughter in Makala, We Decided We Wanted to Adopt You and Your Brother. I (Pam) did a Book Review: Inside Transracial Adoption. This book is one-half information on identity formation and complex issues, but one-half fascinating glimpses into real experiences of transracial … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6

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I must admit that I never thought that I would be writing that this blog is the sixth in the series that discusses the desirable traits that a person should have that is thinking of adopting a special needs child. The person should have endurance, or staying power, and be willing to be persistent in getting the job done properly. I am going to focus on the challenges of taking our five boys on a trip to illustrate my points. Our oldest grown son and his family live in San Antonio which is about a four hour drive away from … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 5

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This blog is number five in my series discussing the ideal traits that an adoptive parent will have to successfully adopt a special needs child. The individual will have compassion and sensitivity for the inconsistent emotions and sentiments of their adopted child. Sometimes an adopted child will say things that do not make sense from your perspective. Our oldest is the only one of our five boys who even knew their birth mother. The lady who was taking care of them when the state took custody of them was telling him that she was their mother and Lola was merely … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 4

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This blog is the fourth in a series discussing the ideal traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child should have. An adoptive parent must have a willingness, maybe even a fervor, for demanding and getting their children’s health and learning needs met. There is a fine line between coming on too strong and coming on strong enough to achieve the desired purpose. I like to have a goal of doing whatever it takes to get the best available resources for our boys. I have already related the problems that we had with the public schools and how … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, More Part 3

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I didn’t finish my third blog in the traits of adoptive parents series. I had illustrated how recovery and restoration from the hurtful and damaging things in the child’s past might sometimes take a very long time to be fixed. This blog will focus on the fact that many of those things sometimes heal rather quickly. My statement that it doesn’t always happen should not be taken to mean that it can never happen. Tommy came to us at age two and a half. He had experienced two open heart surgeries to repair a badly malformed heart valve. Once we … Continue reading →

Birth Parents (Part 7) Healing

Birthparents will never forget the baby they placed for adoption. Forgetting isn’t the goal but it’s important for birth mothers and birth fathers to adapt to the new circumstances and come to terms with any regret. When birth parents are able to accept their lives it’s possible to gain a feeling of control, and move forward with whatever else life has in store for them. Birth mothers and birth fathers who are able to openly share feelings with themselves and others may find it to be helpful while moving through the stages of grief and reaching some resolution. Some of … Continue reading →

The Fantasy Child (Part 5)

Adopting an older child is differet than giving birth or adopting a newborn. Everyone involved in the creation of the new family has had time to daydream and think about their personal expectations. But, what can be done to help an adoptive family avoid the disappointment of things not living up to their expectations? Transition and becoming a new family is hard for everyone involved. But, parents have to be parents and take charge of the things they can control. As adults we can’t let our daydreams and imagination get in the way. It is exciting to dream but, we … Continue reading →