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Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6

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I must admit that I never thought that I would be writing that this blog is the sixth in the series that discusses the desirable traits that a person should have that is thinking of adopting a special needs child. The person should have endurance, or staying power, and be willing to be persistent in getting the job done properly. I am going to focus on the challenges of taking our five boys on a trip to illustrate my points. Our oldest grown son and his family live in San Antonio which is about a four hour drive away from … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 5

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This blog is number five in my series discussing the ideal traits that an adoptive parent will have to successfully adopt a special needs child. The individual will have compassion and sensitivity for the inconsistent emotions and sentiments of their adopted child. Sometimes an adopted child will say things that do not make sense from your perspective. Our oldest is the only one of our five boys who even knew their birth mother. The lady who was taking care of them when the state took custody of them was telling him that she was their mother and Lola was merely … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 4

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This blog is the fourth in a series discussing the ideal traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child should have. An adoptive parent must have a willingness, maybe even a fervor, for demanding and getting their children’s health and learning needs met. There is a fine line between coming on too strong and coming on strong enough to achieve the desired purpose. I like to have a goal of doing whatever it takes to get the best available resources for our boys. I have already related the problems that we had with the public schools and how … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, More Part 3

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I didn’t finish my third blog in the traits of adoptive parents series. I had illustrated how recovery and restoration from the hurtful and damaging things in the child’s past might sometimes take a very long time to be fixed. This blog will focus on the fact that many of those things sometimes heal rather quickly. My statement that it doesn’t always happen should not be taken to mean that it can never happen. Tommy came to us at age two and a half. He had experienced two open heart surgeries to repair a badly malformed heart valve. Once we … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 3

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This is the third blog in a series that discusses the traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child must have. The parent must be mindful that recovery and restoration from the child’s past may not be immediate and that some damage may never be fixed. We all like to think that lots of love and the best that modern medicine can provide will make things right. The problem is that it just doesn’t always happen. We have adopted five maternal brothers. The oldest four came to our home about four years ago. One of the children is … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 2

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This is the second in a series of blogs that discuss the traits that an adoptive parent of a special needs child must have. The person needs to be adept at adjusting to sudden developments, anxieties and hardships. All of these things will come, the only question is when. When one of our children came to live with us, he almost immediately started having fits and rages. It was unlike anything that I had seen before. The slightest upset, and frequently nothing that we saw, would trigger them. He had these episodes for up to an hour at a time, … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parenting Traits

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I frequently encounter people who tell me that they have seriously thought about adopting a child. It usually comes up in a situation like being in the waiting room in a doctor’s office, they see one of my children, and a conversation starts. It usually ends with the person concluding that they would want to be sure that they could do it and so they never pursue it. I want to try my best to promote adoption and to encourage people to at least think seriously about it. Because of that, I think now and then about things that I … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-More Responding

In the last Blog, we discussed the fact that adoptive parents need to Plan on Responding to our child’s needs a bit more conscientiously especially during the first several months after becoming a member of the family. This entry lists some of the ways Adoptive parents might respond to the Arousal-Relaxation Cycle: Become in tune with how the child is feeling physically, pay attention and respond affectionately and attentively when they are sick. Respond quickly when they are hurt and do the whole “boo-boo” kiss routine even for minor injuries. Demonstrate compassion and let your child know that you don’t … Continue reading →

What is Medi-Cal?

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Medi-Cal has been in existence since 1966. It is part of the Medicaid program of the State of California, and it’s funding comes from both the State and Federal Government. This is a kind of government run health insurance program that is designed for low income individuals, disabled individuals, and people with specific kinds of diseases. To qualify for Medi-Cal, you must already be enrolled in one of the following programs: SSI/SSP: SSI is Social Security, SSP is State Supplementary Payment. Both are run through the Social Security Administration CalWorks (AFDC): This is a government program designed to give temporary … Continue reading →

“Nightmare on My Street”

I’ve written recently about my daughter Regina’s transition to kindergarten and about some extra issues that can come up for adopted children as they enter school. Now there’s a new wrinkle: Regina seems much happier at school and has mostly stopped having toileting troubles and long tantrums. However, now Meg is waking up every night with nightmares. Sometimes she is literally shaking when she wakes up. For her it has been Halloween every night for the past two weeks, it seems. She tries to snuggle into bed with us. One night I said I really wanted her to stay in … Continue reading →