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Adoption Transitions #9 Toddler Adoption

The “toddler” years are a well defined and distinct stage of development however, most of the adoption information parents find is about newborns and older children. The lack of information about adopting a toddler often leads adoptive parents assume that a toddler is not much different from an infant. Some parents feel a toddler has no real conscious memory of birth parents or foster parents and are not affected from neglect or abuse. Adoptive parents may hope toddler adoption means they will skip the demanding baby stage, or a toddler will become an instant playmate for other children in the … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #8 From Foster Child to Forever In The Same Home.

When a foster families chooses to adopt the child or children in their care, there are a few ways to help children make the emotional transition from being “a ward of the State or the Court” to being “a son or daughter.” Parents may not have any problem seeing or feelings the difference in the child’s role within their family. But, children may not clearly comprehend the difference between being a foster child and being an adopted child when they continue to live in the same family. When talking to children about the changes adoption means to their lives, parents … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #7 From Orphanage or Institution to Home.

When a child has lived life in an orphanage or institution, the child has no real understanding of what family means. Children live a daily routine and most children in orphanages or institutions have no reference point for what family really means. One day the child is introduction to these people who are their new Mom and Dad. Anything the child has been told, about adoption, made no sense to them at the time. Cognitively, most children don’t understand they are getting a new family until the child finds themselves in the middle of transition. Don’t be surprised if your … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #6 Our Adoption Transition of Siblings

We ended up having a rather traumatic and stressful transition for Makala and Jeremiah. There was a combination of things that added to the stress we felt. Our children were matched with us during November and our state committee met the third week in December. We found out one week before Christmas that we were parents and our children were living in a foster home, over 300 miles away. The cards were dealt and we had a terrible hand. Everyone involved had to agree, given the seven-day waiting period, we would not be able to start the transition until after … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #5 When Travel is Required.

Traveling with a newly placed adoptive child who has never been away from his or her neighborhood, or been outside of the orphanage–let alone the state or country–is stressful for any child or person. Parents adopting a child internationally, or even a child from another state or part of the state, face an added obstacle during transition. Travel and relocation is stressful for adults and children no matter the circumstances, but when it includes building, a new family the situation can be nearly unbearable for everyone. When adoptive parents have to travel to transition their child, all the same issues … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #4 Planning For Transition.

Whenever possible, plan an easy and gradual transition for your baby or child. Moving slow during the transition from one life and becoming part of a new family helps children resolve grief. A slow and systematic transition allows for transference of attachment with the adoptive parents. Transitions for newborns are typically as simple as bringing home any new baby. If you are adopting a child who has been in a foster home, or had primary care in an orphanage, institution, or hospital, transition is a very important step because your child has learned how his or her needs are met. … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #3 Starting Your Child’s Lifebook

Mothers often spend hours creating baby books or scrapbooks for our children. A Lifebook is a special kind of baby–scrap book for adopted children. Just as a mother often writes milestones and important tid-bits of information in a child’s baby book, a lifebook is where adopted children might look for the story of their lives. There are many ways families can help children answer the important questions and understand their own unique history. “Life books, ecomaps, lifemaps, and lifepaths are all tools used by foster/adoptive parents and children’s therapists to help children of various ages understand and find ways to … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #2 All About the Baby or Child.

Questions, questions, and more questions. Adoptive parents need to focus during the transition process and get all the information they possibly can. It doesn’t matter how old your baby or child is when you become the parent, there are some basic things you want to know. Which foods does the baby or child like or dislike? If you are adopting an infant what brand of formula, and type of bottle does the baby like? What types of solid food has the baby been given? If the child is older, ask what the favorite foods are and what the problem foods … Continue reading →

Adoption Transitions #1: Adoptive Parents Wait

From the moment a waiting adoptive family is matched with a potential birthmother, child in foster care, or internationally the transition begins. The first step to a healthy and positive transition starts with the adoptive parents and their ability to prepare for the life changing events that are about to take place. Many adoptive parents find this period of time to be one of the most stressful in the adoption process. Knowing your child is about to be born, or is waiting to meet you can be filled with anxiety, fantasy and stress. It doesn’t matter if you are waiting … Continue reading →

Introducing Yourself to Your Child—Part Two: The Meeting

US adoptions often have a “Transition” period built in when children are moved from a foster home to an adoptive one. The ideal is to have the adoptive parents visit the child in his/her familiar space, for the foster parents to greet the adoptive parents so the child sees that foster mother is comfortable with them therefore they can probably be trusted, then have the foster parent begin a caregiving task such as giving a bottle or a bath then having the adoptive parent finish it. This gives the child “permission” to accept nurturing from the adoptive parents. There are … Continue reading →