Adoption Options for Single Parents: Adopting from the Child Welfare System

by Pam Connell | More from this Blogger

29 Oct 2007 01:56 PM

Unmarried individuals may wonder about their options for parenting. Certainly parenting a child who needs you is an admirable goal. Some individuals may not feel they can parent without the support of a partner. Certainly the support for you and the role modeling for your child are advantages to having a partner, but many single parents do adopt successfully. As one children's worker stated, "All children really need to thrive is someone who's crazy about them." Perhaps you can be that person for a child.

The U.S. foster care system is very open to adoptions from single parents. Older child adoption is perhaps the part of the foster care system most widely known. But often infants are available through a "foster-adopt" or "fost-adopt" program. The prospective parent becomes a foster parent with the intention of adopting the child if the birth parent's parental rights are terminated. The birth parent has a specified period of time, sometimes a maximum of 18 months but usually less, to show that they are in a position to parent. This might involve completing a drug rehabilitation program, finding stable housing, finding a job, taking parenting classes, getting counseling, or a combination of the above. If parental rights are terminated, the child is then adopted by the foster parent, who has often had them since they were born, and spared the trauma of a move. (As a parent of a child who was moved at 12 months, I can attest that the transfer from foster parent to adoptive parent is, while quite survivable, a trauma which I would have done much to spare her from.)

Sometimes these adoptions are called "legal-risk placements" since the birthparent's rights are not yet fully terminated. Most social workers have an idea of whether the placement is "low-risk" or higher risk (perhaps the birthparent has shown little interest in parenting, or has failed drug rehabilitation several times before), but all have some risk. When I first wanted to become a parent, I felt that I could not emotionally handle the risk. Now I think perhaps I could. However, I feel parents should be careful if they already have young children at home, especially adopted children. These children will be very anxious if a child is removed from your home. Perhaps a family with older children can handle the uncertainty and the wait.

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Learn more about Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism.

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