Search Results for: blog adopting when you already have children

Do you Ignore Hurt Feelings?

A few months have passed since we tried to talk with the in-laws about the issues that we have had over the last year and a half. They still did not want to talk about it, they seriously think that if you ignore it they will go away. When we try to bring the issues up they say that I am just trying to stir the pot and rehash old issues. Yes the issues did not happen yesterday but when someone intentionally calls you by your husband’s ex-wife’s names, by saying they can’t come to our wedding because they don’t … Continue reading →

For Families Adopting from Haiti, Quake Brings Devastating Uncertainty

Only now is information about the 254 Haitian children who are being adopted by U.S. citizens beginning to trickle out of Haiti. Some of these children have already been legally adopted by U.S. citizens and are just waiting for their passports and travel visas. Some of them have been known by their adoptive families for months or years. Almost all have been visited by their adoptive parents at least once. A Washington State couple appeared on Thursday morning’s Today Show and spoke with Meredith Viera about the eight-year-old girl and six-year-old boy they are adopting. The adoption has been completed … Continue reading →

Brangelina Adopting from India and The Woz Gets a New Gig

Eight months after giving birth to twins Vivienne and Knox, Angelina Jolie is prepping to cradle a new baby. According to reports, the raven-haired beauty and her famous beau Brad Pitt are planning to expand their multinational brood by adopting a child from India. The pair is already parents to three adopted children – 7-year-old Maddox from Cambodia, 4-year-old Pax from Vietnam and 3-year-old Zahara from Ethiopia. Brangelina also have three biological children, 2-year-old daughter Shiloh, and infant twins, who turn one in July. British newspaper the Sunday Express claims Jolie recently revealed her secret plans to adopt from India … Continue reading →

Adoption Blog in Month in Review: June, Part Two

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I reflect on my co-blogger Lyn’s blog in the Education Blog about teen-age girls making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Teen mothers who plan adoption for their babies are less likely to go on welfare than those who parent as teens. Unfortunately, most mothers choosing adoption are young adults—teenagers often decide to parent. Of course, some teen moms do a fine job—but these girls will quickly realize it’s no lark. My blog Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away from You cautions that some doctors’ and dentists’ comments and policies regarding keeping parents out can be … Continue reading →

Other Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children

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My last blog talked about how your other children will handle becoming a visibly different (or even more different) family. In addition to getting used to stares, your children will be asked questions about adoption. How will you help your children to answer these? One resource can be the WISE UP Powerbook, a workbook (designed for adopted kids, but it could be adapted for use by a sibling, child with a disability, or anyone who gets asked intrusive questions. It helps kids consider whether they wish to Walk away, say “It’s private”, Share something small, or Eduate people about adoption. … Continue reading →

Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children: Shared or Different Heritages

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In the past days I’ve been writing about how your adoption decisions may be different when you have children already in your family to consider. One of these questions is whether you want your children to share the same ethnicity? Many parents believe that their child will feel a deeper sense of belonging if there is someone in the family who looks like them. I admit to sometimes wishing I looked like others in my family, and I wasn’t even adopted. However, a recent article in Adoptive Families magazine suggests that it may be less necessary than was formerly believed. … Continue reading →

Adopting When You Already Have Children: Travel Considerations, Part Three

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When deciding whether your children should travel with you to pick up their new sibling, think about how your child or chidren will react to the settings and events you expect to be in and encounter. If it is an area of extreme poverty, will it distress your child? Will he find it hard to see other kids in an orphanage who are not being adopted? Parents who adopted from China describe their first meeting with their children as taking place in a hotel where their children were brought to them. That might be an okay scenario for an older … Continue reading →

Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children: Travel, Part Two

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In deciding whether to take your children with you, consider the safety of the place to which you are traveling and the availability of aid in any emergency that may occur. Friends of mine initially planned to take their daughters on their trip to pick up their son. This was a region that required one parent to make an initial visit several weeks before both parents traveled for the actual adoption. When the father made the initial visit he was startled at the absolute lack of adequate medical facilities in the remote region and decided he was not at all … Continue reading →

Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children: Travel, Part One

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One very practical concern when adopting an additional child may seem minor at first, but may become a deciding factor in the major decision of what type of adoption to pursue and from where. I refer to the necessity of, and arrangements for, travel. Even in a domestic adoption, you will travel to the child’s state of birth or residence. If the child is older than a few months, you will likely be urged to stay for a little while, allowing for pre-placement visits in which you gradually spend more time with and assume more care for the child before … Continue reading →

Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children: Emotional Risk

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I believe some types of adoption that would have been fine for us if we’d been adopting our first child are not fine for us now that we have other children. My last blogs have talked about birth order and spacing and safety issues. Here I will speak about emotional issues. Adoption can be a roller coaster of emotions, for your children as well as for you. The issues I will address here are: permanence issues and fears, and medical issues. I personally would not accept a legal-risk foster-adopt placement now that I have children. In a domestic infant adoption … Continue reading →